Thursday, September 10, 2009
Personal Reasons
So the new Top Model debuted last night. The spin this season is that it's all girls 5'7" or shorter, and it turns out that being short also makes a person insane. Either that or they were giving out crack in the green room. There was a lot of screaming and jumping that went on, and not just the kind that they obviously force them to do in the hopes that audiences will actually believe people are excited to see Miss Jay. The winner in that department definitely had to be Amber, who kept randomly shouting things about how she loved Jesus and he wanted her to be a model so she could reach people, apparently oblivious to the fact that after twelve cycles, no one on Top Model has really reached much farther than Mercedes' "welcome to Chili's" ad. Amber ended up mysteriously leaving the show before the first elimination for "personal reasons," which I can only assume means chlamydia. They immediately replaced her with Lisa, a limp dishrag of a girl who they dressed up like John Wayne Gacy and then eliminated. Gone too soon.
The real news of this cycle is that the budgets have clearly been cut dramatically. First of all, Paulina has been utterly eliminated, and Nigel seems terrified that Tyra might can him at any moment, too. Then then casting special, which in previous years has taken place on a cruise ship or in Las Vegas, was relegated to what appeared to be a Best Western business center. And the photo shoot was honestly a bit low rent as well, although not as bad as the one a few cycles ago where they literally just poured paint on the girls. I half expected Tyra to announce that the girls were just going to bunk with her this year. It would really serve her right, frankly.
Oh, and there was a girl named Sundai. It's pronounced "Sunday," but spelled with an "i." Need I say more?
So the new Top Model debuted last night. The spin this season is that it's all girls 5'7" or shorter, and it turns out that being short also makes a person insane. Either that or they were giving out crack in the green room. There was a lot of screaming and jumping that went on, and not just the kind that they obviously force them to do in the hopes that audiences will actually believe people are excited to see Miss Jay. The winner in that department definitely had to be Amber, who kept randomly shouting things about how she loved Jesus and he wanted her to be a model so she could reach people, apparently oblivious to the fact that after twelve cycles, no one on Top Model has really reached much farther than Mercedes' "welcome to Chili's" ad. Amber ended up mysteriously leaving the show before the first elimination for "personal reasons," which I can only assume means chlamydia. They immediately replaced her with Lisa, a limp dishrag of a girl who they dressed up like John Wayne Gacy and then eliminated. Gone too soon.
The real news of this cycle is that the budgets have clearly been cut dramatically. First of all, Paulina has been utterly eliminated, and Nigel seems terrified that Tyra might can him at any moment, too. Then then casting special, which in previous years has taken place on a cruise ship or in Las Vegas, was relegated to what appeared to be a Best Western business center. And the photo shoot was honestly a bit low rent as well, although not as bad as the one a few cycles ago where they literally just poured paint on the girls. I half expected Tyra to announce that the girls were just going to bunk with her this year. It would really serve her right, frankly.
Oh, and there was a girl named Sundai. It's pronounced "Sunday," but spelled with an "i." Need I say more?
