Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Strain
Well, I am still the proud owner of a kidney stone. Despite five days of terrifyingly close analysis of my urine, I have yet to see the little fellow emerge. (Is it a fellow? Do kidney stones have gender? And what should I name it? Chuck? Enid?) I haven't had much pain since Thursday morning, when I woke up with shooting pains in my back and abdomen that I felt fairly sure were some sort of direct punishment from God. I actually did pray for them to stop, and then also asked for a pony, as long as I was there.
But anyway, it's a waiting game that I'm playing now. I've gotten very good at sneaking my strainer to the work bathroom in my shoulder bag. I pretend I'm going to the breakroom and then veer off at the last minute. I'm also rather used to my pill schedule. I want to get one of those pill minders, though, just so I can complete the conversion into my grandmother.
I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow and see if these things ever just spontaneously go away. Perhaps little Chuck or Enid felt bad about causing me so much pain and just decided to end it all. Or maybe I've still got some good times to come.
Well, I am still the proud owner of a kidney stone. Despite five days of terrifyingly close analysis of my urine, I have yet to see the little fellow emerge. (Is it a fellow? Do kidney stones have gender? And what should I name it? Chuck? Enid?) I haven't had much pain since Thursday morning, when I woke up with shooting pains in my back and abdomen that I felt fairly sure were some sort of direct punishment from God. I actually did pray for them to stop, and then also asked for a pony, as long as I was there.
But anyway, it's a waiting game that I'm playing now. I've gotten very good at sneaking my strainer to the work bathroom in my shoulder bag. I pretend I'm going to the breakroom and then veer off at the last minute. I'm also rather used to my pill schedule. I want to get one of those pill minders, though, just so I can complete the conversion into my grandmother.
I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow and see if these things ever just spontaneously go away. Perhaps little Chuck or Enid felt bad about causing me so much pain and just decided to end it all. Or maybe I've still got some good times to come.
