Tuesday, November 03, 2009
The Ghost of Halloweens Past
Hmmm, I guess I forgot to mention that Halloween happened. I've sort of lost steam in the last few years on the whole costume thing, and this year I decided just to not change my clothes and go as an old person. And by "go" I mean "stay in my house with the lights off so I won't attract any trick or treaters." That may seem cruel, but believe me, I don't have anything they want, unless a bottle of fish oil pills and a travel-sized tube of Retin-A really does it for them.
Anyway, we did have some festivities on Friday night in the form of a pumpkin carving night with Former Roommate Liz. Things have been rocky on that front, too, since we ran out of racial stereotypes to carve the pumpkins into a few years ago. (Unlike Top Model, we are not delving into mixed races. Morrocan and Russian may look sweet on Sundai, but it's hell on gourds.) But this year we decided to pumpkins with various medical maladies, like leprosy, polio, and a cleft palate. And when I say "we" I mean that Former Roommate Liz did the actual carving whilst I scooped out the pumpkin guts and made props for the pumpkins out of construction paper. And then got too drunk to make the wheelchair. And ate half a two gallon jug of cheese balls.
Do I miss the days of dressing up as Janet Reno and drinking until I throw up on some random girl? Perhaps not so much.
Hmmm, I guess I forgot to mention that Halloween happened. I've sort of lost steam in the last few years on the whole costume thing, and this year I decided just to not change my clothes and go as an old person. And by "go" I mean "stay in my house with the lights off so I won't attract any trick or treaters." That may seem cruel, but believe me, I don't have anything they want, unless a bottle of fish oil pills and a travel-sized tube of Retin-A really does it for them.
Anyway, we did have some festivities on Friday night in the form of a pumpkin carving night with Former Roommate Liz. Things have been rocky on that front, too, since we ran out of racial stereotypes to carve the pumpkins into a few years ago. (Unlike Top Model, we are not delving into mixed races. Morrocan and Russian may look sweet on Sundai, but it's hell on gourds.) But this year we decided to pumpkins with various medical maladies, like leprosy, polio, and a cleft palate. And when I say "we" I mean that Former Roommate Liz did the actual carving whilst I scooped out the pumpkin guts and made props for the pumpkins out of construction paper. And then got too drunk to make the wheelchair. And ate half a two gallon jug of cheese balls.
Do I miss the days of dressing up as Janet Reno and drinking until I throw up on some random girl? Perhaps not so much.
