Sunday, April 04, 2010
Easter Parade
We decided to try a new parish for church this morning, since we're sort of tired of hearing about abortion and how the molestation scandal is everyone else's fault and how we still need to give money to the church and they totally won't spend it on preventing people in Africa from using condoms. Let me just tell you, if you've ever thought about giving a new church a test drive on Easter, don't. We got there half an hour early, expecting a crowd, and ended up standing in a line that stretched around the block for twenty minutes. Then the brilliant ushering staff (one of whom had a clipboard, no kidding) directed us up to sit on the altar, where there were in fact no seats. So we diverted ourselves to the balcony, where we got essentially the last spots on Earth, two seats down from Whispering Old People Gulch and right in the heart of Crying Baby Alley. The priest then opened the mass with a long discourse on the history of the church, which began in the 1800s and for a moment seemed likely to extend into the distant future. Also there were a lot of jokes in the sermon, which would have been perfectly appropriate for a very special episode of Two and a Half Men, but seemed somewhat out of place on the holiest of holies. Then at communion the place was so crowded that they literally didn't even let us leave the balcony -- we had our own, second class communion up in the back. Oh, and the choir closed with a spiritual despite being super, super white. It was all around a grand time.
Breakfast afterwards was super delicious. Although I've been having stomach issues ever since. I fear it may be risen, indeed.
We decided to try a new parish for church this morning, since we're sort of tired of hearing about abortion and how the molestation scandal is everyone else's fault and how we still need to give money to the church and they totally won't spend it on preventing people in Africa from using condoms. Let me just tell you, if you've ever thought about giving a new church a test drive on Easter, don't. We got there half an hour early, expecting a crowd, and ended up standing in a line that stretched around the block for twenty minutes. Then the brilliant ushering staff (one of whom had a clipboard, no kidding) directed us up to sit on the altar, where there were in fact no seats. So we diverted ourselves to the balcony, where we got essentially the last spots on Earth, two seats down from Whispering Old People Gulch and right in the heart of Crying Baby Alley. The priest then opened the mass with a long discourse on the history of the church, which began in the 1800s and for a moment seemed likely to extend into the distant future. Also there were a lot of jokes in the sermon, which would have been perfectly appropriate for a very special episode of Two and a Half Men, but seemed somewhat out of place on the holiest of holies. Then at communion the place was so crowded that they literally didn't even let us leave the balcony -- we had our own, second class communion up in the back. Oh, and the choir closed with a spiritual despite being super, super white. It was all around a grand time.
Breakfast afterwards was super delicious. Although I've been having stomach issues ever since. I fear it may be risen, indeed.
