Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tiger Beat
So I'm catching up on some of my reading over the long weekend, and I finally got to the Vanity Fair story on Tiger's mistresses. I have to say, it is some pretty amazing reading. I'm only about halfway through, but I've already learned so much I never wanted to know about horny rich nerds and the skanks who love them.
To begin with, I am delighted to find out one of his first mistresses was a hostess at Perkins. I like to think that he started up with her in order to get easy access to their delicious pies and cakes. I also love the fact that she thought he was maybe going to marry her. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know of many successful marriages that began with getting picked up in a CVS parking lot for a quickie.
I'm also loving how they make Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley out to be some big villains in the article, as though MJ personally grabbed Tiger's penis and forced it into the vajayjays of women who weren't his wife. I mean, look, Charles Barkley should be no one's moral compass, but I think peer pressure is a pretty lame excuse for mass adultery. Anyone who has seen those Fruit of the Loom commercials knows you don't want to emulate everything Michael Jordan does.
The Jamie Jungers segment is also especially sweet. She seems way more upset about the fact that he used to make her fly coach than about his constant failure to use a condom. And the reason she ended things with him was essentially because he wouldn't give her money to get her own place. So you have no problem being the other woman, but having a roommate is just unbearable?
I have to find the issue with the second half of this so I can find out how it all ends. I'm guessing it all works out okay.
So I'm catching up on some of my reading over the long weekend, and I finally got to the Vanity Fair story on Tiger's mistresses. I have to say, it is some pretty amazing reading. I'm only about halfway through, but I've already learned so much I never wanted to know about horny rich nerds and the skanks who love them.
To begin with, I am delighted to find out one of his first mistresses was a hostess at Perkins. I like to think that he started up with her in order to get easy access to their delicious pies and cakes. I also love the fact that she thought he was maybe going to marry her. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know of many successful marriages that began with getting picked up in a CVS parking lot for a quickie.
I'm also loving how they make Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley out to be some big villains in the article, as though MJ personally grabbed Tiger's penis and forced it into the vajayjays of women who weren't his wife. I mean, look, Charles Barkley should be no one's moral compass, but I think peer pressure is a pretty lame excuse for mass adultery. Anyone who has seen those Fruit of the Loom commercials knows you don't want to emulate everything Michael Jordan does.
The Jamie Jungers segment is also especially sweet. She seems way more upset about the fact that he used to make her fly coach than about his constant failure to use a condom. And the reason she ended things with him was essentially because he wouldn't give her money to get her own place. So you have no problem being the other woman, but having a roommate is just unbearable?
I have to find the issue with the second half of this so I can find out how it all ends. I'm guessing it all works out okay.
