Thursday, June 10, 2010
Say Cheese
For some reason, I decided to buy a giant tub of cheese balls at Target and take it into work Tuesday morning. Now, I understood there would be certain tactical challenges involved in taking a giant tub of cheese balls to one's office, and I prepared. I begged a ride from my sister and left extra early so as to lessen the possibility of human contact, which I understood would likely (and fairly) result in mockery. But it appears I miscalculated, as I ran into a little street gang of support staff on my way up in the elevator.
"Hey, where's the party?" a guy I've never even seen before with a goatee asked me.
"Ha ha, yeah." I said, controlling my fist of death.
"Now how long will those last you?" asked the portly pepperpot of an administrative assistant on my other side.
And this is where things got really weird. For some reason (there it is again), I found myself lying to the lady for no reason. Actually, I think the reason is that I thought it would shut her up. Regardless, I lied.
"Actually, they're not for me. They're for my assistant."
Which is when she asked who my assistant was, told me she knew her, and announced her plans to "call her to make fun of her."
And thus I had yet another very awkward conversation with my assistant, this one about cheese balls. And yes, I could have just given them to her, but some things are just too valuable to sacrifice.
For some reason, I decided to buy a giant tub of cheese balls at Target and take it into work Tuesday morning. Now, I understood there would be certain tactical challenges involved in taking a giant tub of cheese balls to one's office, and I prepared. I begged a ride from my sister and left extra early so as to lessen the possibility of human contact, which I understood would likely (and fairly) result in mockery. But it appears I miscalculated, as I ran into a little street gang of support staff on my way up in the elevator.
"Hey, where's the party?" a guy I've never even seen before with a goatee asked me.
"Ha ha, yeah." I said, controlling my fist of death.
"Now how long will those last you?" asked the portly pepperpot of an administrative assistant on my other side.
And this is where things got really weird. For some reason (there it is again), I found myself lying to the lady for no reason. Actually, I think the reason is that I thought it would shut her up. Regardless, I lied.
"Actually, they're not for me. They're for my assistant."
Which is when she asked who my assistant was, told me she knew her, and announced her plans to "call her to make fun of her."
And thus I had yet another very awkward conversation with my assistant, this one about cheese balls. And yes, I could have just given them to her, but some things are just too valuable to sacrifice.
