Sunday, July 18, 2010
Career Moves
If you're anything like me -- and given the amount of sperm I've donated over the years, that's a growing possibility -- you're still reeling with shock over Amanda Bynes' surprise announcement of her retirement a few weeks ago. Once you get over the initial feelings of betrayal over the fact that it's now all but certain that there will be no Sidney White 2, there's still just the profound sadness that now envelops each and every morning's rerun of What I Like About You on ABC Family. The Garth/Bynes dream team is no more.
And now, just as that horrible pain begins to deaden somewhat, there comes the news that The Wizards of Waverly Place will be ending after the next season. (Selena Gomez wants to focus on making movies that people don't see.) This is terrible news, and not just for the scientists who are trying to study why it is exactly that the Gomez's face never moves. For one thing, aside from the Gomez, we can pretty much guarantee that none of these child actors will ever work again, and that means the crime rate is bound to skyrocket. I would also bet that most of the writers will have to go back to their old jobs drafting the nutritional information that goes on the side of fruit roll up boxes. And for heaven's sake, what am I supposed to do now? I'll die before I start watching iCarly.
If you're anything like me -- and given the amount of sperm I've donated over the years, that's a growing possibility -- you're still reeling with shock over Amanda Bynes' surprise announcement of her retirement a few weeks ago. Once you get over the initial feelings of betrayal over the fact that it's now all but certain that there will be no Sidney White 2, there's still just the profound sadness that now envelops each and every morning's rerun of What I Like About You on ABC Family. The Garth/Bynes dream team is no more.
And now, just as that horrible pain begins to deaden somewhat, there comes the news that The Wizards of Waverly Place will be ending after the next season. (Selena Gomez wants to focus on making movies that people don't see.) This is terrible news, and not just for the scientists who are trying to study why it is exactly that the Gomez's face never moves. For one thing, aside from the Gomez, we can pretty much guarantee that none of these child actors will ever work again, and that means the crime rate is bound to skyrocket. I would also bet that most of the writers will have to go back to their old jobs drafting the nutritional information that goes on the side of fruit roll up boxes. And for heaven's sake, what am I supposed to do now? I'll die before I start watching iCarly.
