Sunday, September 05, 2010
Mailbag
So I have this box in my room at my parents house where I have stored all sorts of notes and cards and things that people gave me in college, high school, and even junior high. This may seem like horrifying pack rat behavior, but keep in mind that I've also kept a good percentage of the papers I wrote in college and high school. And damn it, my insights on Their Eyes Were Watching God are still pretty timely today. But anyway, looking through these archives has been pretty hilarious in a lot of ways, and not just because it reminds me of a time when I ate candy for lunch and wore baggy carpenter pants. For one thing, the following amazing phrases occur:
"I think I may have solved our problem with the horses, by the way."
"I now understand why I keep seeing job postings for Hallmark writers."
"You are burning up the city of Champaign, I have no doubt."
"This Roadrunner looks a bit disheveled, no?"
"I was tempted to get you the card under the heading 'Masculine Birthday.'"
"Hope you have been saving the bacon grease."
"I'd go only if we could drive a late '80s Suburban as shown."
"Diet Coke just doesn't taste the same out here."
Also, I get to see how greeting card styles have changed over the years, which is to say not at all. Fantastically unreal depictions of nature, terrible poetry about Jesus, puns galore -- pretty much the same from the '90s through the present. I'm pretty sure they didn't have Two and a Half Men greeting cards back then, though. Certainly the nation's loss.
So I have this box in my room at my parents house where I have stored all sorts of notes and cards and things that people gave me in college, high school, and even junior high. This may seem like horrifying pack rat behavior, but keep in mind that I've also kept a good percentage of the papers I wrote in college and high school. And damn it, my insights on Their Eyes Were Watching God are still pretty timely today. But anyway, looking through these archives has been pretty hilarious in a lot of ways, and not just because it reminds me of a time when I ate candy for lunch and wore baggy carpenter pants. For one thing, the following amazing phrases occur:
"I think I may have solved our problem with the horses, by the way."
"I now understand why I keep seeing job postings for Hallmark writers."
"You are burning up the city of Champaign, I have no doubt."
"This Roadrunner looks a bit disheveled, no?"
"I was tempted to get you the card under the heading 'Masculine Birthday.'"
"Hope you have been saving the bacon grease."
"I'd go only if we could drive a late '80s Suburban as shown."
"Diet Coke just doesn't taste the same out here."
Also, I get to see how greeting card styles have changed over the years, which is to say not at all. Fantastically unreal depictions of nature, terrible poetry about Jesus, puns galore -- pretty much the same from the '90s through the present. I'm pretty sure they didn't have Two and a Half Men greeting cards back then, though. Certainly the nation's loss.
