Thursday, September 16, 2010
Panic Room
Things got a little intense around here this week. Apparently, there were some home invasions in my neighborhood. Home invasions in the "people tied up with their mouths duct taped shut" sense, not in the cute "crimes my pro bono client used to commit" sense. I know this not because it was on the news or even anywhere on the Internet, but because there were a lot of warning signs posted up on trees around the neighborhood. Or maybe it's all just a big viral marketing campaign by a consortium of security alarm companies, I don't know. But regardless, it worked. We spent two nights with chairs jammed up under our doorknobs in the fashion that I've seen be so successful at preventing unauthorized entries in so many slasher movies. I even jammed a huge armchair in between the bedroom door and the doorknob, which I felt certain would forestall any attempted murders. Oh, and I left the TV and the lights on all night. Because I'm pretty sure would-be home invaders hate What I Like About you and needless energy consumption.
This morning the alarm company came out and set up my system, though, so I can stop rearranging furniture for a while. Now I can look forward to constantly forgetting I have an alarm system and accidentally setting it off when I take the trash out or get the mail. Irritated phone calls from a security company rep named Brandi are ever so much fun.
Things got a little intense around here this week. Apparently, there were some home invasions in my neighborhood. Home invasions in the "people tied up with their mouths duct taped shut" sense, not in the cute "crimes my pro bono client used to commit" sense. I know this not because it was on the news or even anywhere on the Internet, but because there were a lot of warning signs posted up on trees around the neighborhood. Or maybe it's all just a big viral marketing campaign by a consortium of security alarm companies, I don't know. But regardless, it worked. We spent two nights with chairs jammed up under our doorknobs in the fashion that I've seen be so successful at preventing unauthorized entries in so many slasher movies. I even jammed a huge armchair in between the bedroom door and the doorknob, which I felt certain would forestall any attempted murders. Oh, and I left the TV and the lights on all night. Because I'm pretty sure would-be home invaders hate What I Like About you and needless energy consumption.
This morning the alarm company came out and set up my system, though, so I can stop rearranging furniture for a while. Now I can look forward to constantly forgetting I have an alarm system and accidentally setting it off when I take the trash out or get the mail. Irritated phone calls from a security company rep named Brandi are ever so much fun.
