Saturday, November 27, 2010
Super
No trip to Quincy is complete without a visit to the Super Wal-Mart. Much like Sarah Palin, it is beautiful and terrifying. It has its own optical center, bank, portrait studio, Subway, and possibly even its own zip code. I'm pretty sure the distance between the pharmacy and the bakery is measured in city blocks rather than yards. I believe there are more options for microwave dinners in this one store than there are in the entire city of Chicago. It is like a trans fat and casual wear paradise.
And then there are the encounters. Oh, the encounters. If you want to see your former Spanish teacher -- the one refused to let you use the bathroom even after you threw up in his class -- you are in luck. The girl from the pom squad who used to pee herself even in high school? No problem. And your date to the sixth grade dance, who dumped you for the captain of the mathletes? She is probably working the checkout. Plus, they will all recognize you and have lots to fill you in on. Best friends have to catch up, don't they?
So the bottom line is that I got the Diet Coke we needed, but now I feel as though I need to enter the witness protection program.
No trip to Quincy is complete without a visit to the Super Wal-Mart. Much like Sarah Palin, it is beautiful and terrifying. It has its own optical center, bank, portrait studio, Subway, and possibly even its own zip code. I'm pretty sure the distance between the pharmacy and the bakery is measured in city blocks rather than yards. I believe there are more options for microwave dinners in this one store than there are in the entire city of Chicago. It is like a trans fat and casual wear paradise.
And then there are the encounters. Oh, the encounters. If you want to see your former Spanish teacher -- the one refused to let you use the bathroom even after you threw up in his class -- you are in luck. The girl from the pom squad who used to pee herself even in high school? No problem. And your date to the sixth grade dance, who dumped you for the captain of the mathletes? She is probably working the checkout. Plus, they will all recognize you and have lots to fill you in on. Best friends have to catch up, don't they?
So the bottom line is that I got the Diet Coke we needed, but now I feel as though I need to enter the witness protection program.
