Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Back to Back
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but AMC has been showing all of the Back to the Future movies in a row lately. This, of course, is enough to kill an elderly person, so I've made sure my grandmother's TV is trained squarely on Wolf Blitzer where it belongs. Now, I was every bit as much of a Zemekishead as everyone else when the first movie came out. I thought it was hip to be square and bought a puffy vest at the Chess King like most youths my age. I convinced my mother to let me see the second movie in theaters even though it had mild profanity and boob jokes in it. And I even excused the presence of Mary Steenburgen in the third movie as just some mild flirtation with lameness, like, say, an extended locomotive sequence or the excessive use of the insult "chicken." But now I have questions. Lots of questions.
To begin with, I'm not sure I fully understand the science of time travel. What is the significance of 88 miles per hour? Is that just the fastest they could get a DeLorean to go? And why was it not okay for me to drive that fast when I was coming back from working on my German class project during junior year of high school?
Also, when you change the past such that your mother and father never met and you weren’t born, why do you and your siblings disappear slowly and one at a time? And in relatively uninspiring CGI?
Why was the technology for hoverboards and hovercars so good in 2015 when the technology for old age makeup was still so bad? And what happened to make the girl who used to play Jennifer turn into Elisabeth Shue? Why couldn’t it also turn Christopher Lloyd into someone less intense?
I can only pray that someday they’ll have the science to help me with all of the vital issues.
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but AMC has been showing all of the Back to the Future movies in a row lately. This, of course, is enough to kill an elderly person, so I've made sure my grandmother's TV is trained squarely on Wolf Blitzer where it belongs. Now, I was every bit as much of a Zemekishead as everyone else when the first movie came out. I thought it was hip to be square and bought a puffy vest at the Chess King like most youths my age. I convinced my mother to let me see the second movie in theaters even though it had mild profanity and boob jokes in it. And I even excused the presence of Mary Steenburgen in the third movie as just some mild flirtation with lameness, like, say, an extended locomotive sequence or the excessive use of the insult "chicken." But now I have questions. Lots of questions.
To begin with, I'm not sure I fully understand the science of time travel. What is the significance of 88 miles per hour? Is that just the fastest they could get a DeLorean to go? And why was it not okay for me to drive that fast when I was coming back from working on my German class project during junior year of high school?
Also, when you change the past such that your mother and father never met and you weren’t born, why do you and your siblings disappear slowly and one at a time? And in relatively uninspiring CGI?
Why was the technology for hoverboards and hovercars so good in 2015 when the technology for old age makeup was still so bad? And what happened to make the girl who used to play Jennifer turn into Elisabeth Shue? Why couldn’t it also turn Christopher Lloyd into someone less intense?
I can only pray that someday they’ll have the science to help me with all of the vital issues.
