Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Swan Song
I saw Black Swan last night. I was really looking forward to it because the previews made it look all kinds of crazy, but frankly a lot of it was just Natalie Portman looking frail and scared. I mean, I still enjoyed it, but I was kind of surprised by how irritating I found NP. Pretty much everything that happened in the movie made her furrow her brow and start to tear up. Bitch needs some coping skills, stat.
I was also not prepared for how sort of gory it is. For example, if you are a fan of intact fingernails and toenails, this may not be the movie for you. If you do not enjoy seeing people stab themselves in various ways, maybe sit this one out at the snack bar. Don't get me wrong, it's not exactly Saw 3D, but it ain't The Remains of the Day either.
Winona Ryder is in it for maybe three minutes. Have things really gotten this bad for her? What next, HSN with Mariah Carey?
And of course there was the girl-on-girl action, which has been helpfully highlighted in all of the previews and commercials. I have to say, Mila Kunis really carries herself like a woman who knows her way around a vagina. And again, it was surprisingly graphic. I just kept imagining some poor ridiculous parent thinking they were taking their kids to a ballet movie and then ending up with NP dyking out. Of course, they'd probably walk out long before then, likely around the time of the first toenail fatality.
I saw Black Swan last night. I was really looking forward to it because the previews made it look all kinds of crazy, but frankly a lot of it was just Natalie Portman looking frail and scared. I mean, I still enjoyed it, but I was kind of surprised by how irritating I found NP. Pretty much everything that happened in the movie made her furrow her brow and start to tear up. Bitch needs some coping skills, stat.
I was also not prepared for how sort of gory it is. For example, if you are a fan of intact fingernails and toenails, this may not be the movie for you. If you do not enjoy seeing people stab themselves in various ways, maybe sit this one out at the snack bar. Don't get me wrong, it's not exactly Saw 3D, but it ain't The Remains of the Day either.
Winona Ryder is in it for maybe three minutes. Have things really gotten this bad for her? What next, HSN with Mariah Carey?
And of course there was the girl-on-girl action, which has been helpfully highlighted in all of the previews and commercials. I have to say, Mila Kunis really carries herself like a woman who knows her way around a vagina. And again, it was surprisingly graphic. I just kept imagining some poor ridiculous parent thinking they were taking their kids to a ballet movie and then ending up with NP dyking out. Of course, they'd probably walk out long before then, likely around the time of the first toenail fatality.
