Saturday, January 22, 2011
Humiliation on Aisle Three
Going to the grocery store has recently become one of my least favorite tasks, largely due to the constant mob scene that is the Jewel on Broadway. I have on more than one occasion been trapped in a line of cars in their parking lot for upwards of half an hour and I once got rear ended by an old lady's shopping cart while trying to pick out bananas in the produce section. And then there is the checkout guy who makes you answer trivia related to your college major.
But today topped all of that. As we maneuvered the cart onto the cart escalator, a twelve pack of Caffeine Free Diet Coke somehow shook lose and fell in front of the cart. Where it proceeded to block the cart from climbing up the escalator, resulting in the repeated jolting of the cart back and forth and the loudest repeated "thunk" noise I have ever heard. As the people on the down escalator helpfully pointed and stared, the aforementioned Caffeine Free Diet Coke split open and started pouring directly into the cart escalator mechanism. And then the employees of Jewel went into full red alert mode, running around and banging on various parts of the mechanism and shouting at one another to "get maintenance," while wholly ignoring us. I tried to pretend that I was just waiting there to cash in my frequent shopper stamps for some free cookware, but unfortunately they were on to me. After an intense debate about why the bag containing the mangled Coke cans was leaking, they finally offered to replace my soda. Which took them three tries to get right. (Sorry, but I'm just not taking the Coke with the alleged vitamins in it.)
I honestly don't think I can ever show my face in that store again.
Going to the grocery store has recently become one of my least favorite tasks, largely due to the constant mob scene that is the Jewel on Broadway. I have on more than one occasion been trapped in a line of cars in their parking lot for upwards of half an hour and I once got rear ended by an old lady's shopping cart while trying to pick out bananas in the produce section. And then there is the checkout guy who makes you answer trivia related to your college major.
But today topped all of that. As we maneuvered the cart onto the cart escalator, a twelve pack of Caffeine Free Diet Coke somehow shook lose and fell in front of the cart. Where it proceeded to block the cart from climbing up the escalator, resulting in the repeated jolting of the cart back and forth and the loudest repeated "thunk" noise I have ever heard. As the people on the down escalator helpfully pointed and stared, the aforementioned Caffeine Free Diet Coke split open and started pouring directly into the cart escalator mechanism. And then the employees of Jewel went into full red alert mode, running around and banging on various parts of the mechanism and shouting at one another to "get maintenance," while wholly ignoring us. I tried to pretend that I was just waiting there to cash in my frequent shopper stamps for some free cookware, but unfortunately they were on to me. After an intense debate about why the bag containing the mangled Coke cans was leaking, they finally offered to replace my soda. Which took them three tries to get right. (Sorry, but I'm just not taking the Coke with the alleged vitamins in it.)
I honestly don't think I can ever show my face in that store again.
