Tuesday, January 04, 2011
New Year's Resolutions 2011
-- Get unbanned by TGI Fridays.
-- Finish Murder, She Wrote fan fiction.
-- Engage in fewer knife fights at Lane Bryant stores.
-- Avoid "improper hygiene" disqualification from hot dog eating contest.
-- Reduce number of sexual fantasies about Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
-- Stop referring to self as "the Carrie" of one's social circle.
-- Nip Gwyneth Paltrow's country music career in the bud while it's still possible.
-- Lobby condo association to institute "prettiest eyes" award.
-- Locate the real killer.
-- Marry Paula Deen.
-- Ruin the resolutions made by everyone else.
-- Get unbanned by TGI Fridays.
-- Finish Murder, She Wrote fan fiction.
-- Engage in fewer knife fights at Lane Bryant stores.
-- Avoid "improper hygiene" disqualification from hot dog eating contest.
-- Reduce number of sexual fantasies about Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
-- Stop referring to self as "the Carrie" of one's social circle.
-- Nip Gwyneth Paltrow's country music career in the bud while it's still possible.
-- Lobby condo association to institute "prettiest eyes" award.
-- Locate the real killer.
-- Marry Paula Deen.
-- Ruin the resolutions made by everyone else.
