Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friends with Benefits
Today at work we had a meeting about our benefits. I love these meetings because they invariably turn into therapy sessions where everyone pours out all of their convoluted personal issues. Also because sometimes there are snacks. But mainly for the unfocused rants. We were barely into the medical insurance options when the fun began.
"So I get it that on the high deductible plan, I can't get an FSA. But can my wife still get an FSA? She really wants to get an FSA."
"Well, that would really depend on your wife's insurance."
"Okay, well, if she gets an FSA, what kind of things can she spend that on?"
A twenty minute digression followed. Then came an unforeseen opinion segment of the program.
"I mean, I guess what I don't understand is why anyone would get that other insurance? Doesn't it seem like this insurance is just much better? I mean, who wants that other plan?"
Then came the disability portion, which seemed to strike a chord with many of my coworkers, who apparently have semi-definite plans to become disabled.
"Now, does it count as a disability if I'm injured and I can still work, but I can't do the same kind of work I do now? Like, what if I have a stroke or something and I can't go to court any more or something like that?"
And "If I get disability benefits, are they subject to tax? Would there be withholding?"
I'm sorry, but if I end up in a wheelchair passing my days watching old episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, the last thing I'm going to be worrying about is withholding.
Then there was life insurance.
"What if I want to have three different beneficiaries, but I really want them just to work it out among themselves who gets how much of it or something like that? How do I do that?"
Dude, you're going to be dead. Let them just fight over it with pointed sticks.
Today at work we had a meeting about our benefits. I love these meetings because they invariably turn into therapy sessions where everyone pours out all of their convoluted personal issues. Also because sometimes there are snacks. But mainly for the unfocused rants. We were barely into the medical insurance options when the fun began.
"So I get it that on the high deductible plan, I can't get an FSA. But can my wife still get an FSA? She really wants to get an FSA."
"Well, that would really depend on your wife's insurance."
"Okay, well, if she gets an FSA, what kind of things can she spend that on?"
A twenty minute digression followed. Then came an unforeseen opinion segment of the program.
"I mean, I guess what I don't understand is why anyone would get that other insurance? Doesn't it seem like this insurance is just much better? I mean, who wants that other plan?"
Then came the disability portion, which seemed to strike a chord with many of my coworkers, who apparently have semi-definite plans to become disabled.
"Now, does it count as a disability if I'm injured and I can still work, but I can't do the same kind of work I do now? Like, what if I have a stroke or something and I can't go to court any more or something like that?"
And "If I get disability benefits, are they subject to tax? Would there be withholding?"
I'm sorry, but if I end up in a wheelchair passing my days watching old episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, the last thing I'm going to be worrying about is withholding.
Then there was life insurance.
"What if I want to have three different beneficiaries, but I really want them just to work it out among themselves who gets how much of it or something like that? How do I do that?"
Dude, you're going to be dead. Let them just fight over it with pointed sticks.
