Friday, February 10, 2012
Gifted
My sister got me Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame on DVD for my birthday. Hold on, that isn't the funny part yet. For some reason, the DVD came packaged with a bunch of Valentine's Day cards that look like a divorced dad bought them at CVS while taking the kids to school after realizing that it was, in fact, Valentine's Day. I'm dying to give these out to my coworkers, but on the other hand I'm not completely sure I'm ready to get fired yet. Here's just a sampling:
I don't even know what Disney movie these characters are from. Or why they're playing soccer. But it's always nice to be "decreed" someone's Valentine. I hear Queen Elizabeth issues those decrees all the time.
This I do recognize. It's from Pete's Dragon, which I remember thinking was dated and uncool when I was in like first grade. Seriously, this was the movie that, if they'd show it in class, you'd wonder if you maybe wouldn't rather be doing phonics worksheets instead.
The Swiss Family Robinson. I don't think I ever saw it, but I did visit their treehouse at Disney World, which I remember mainly because it was the place I first realized I was getting severely sunburned. I'm not sure I'd really love to be shipwrecked with anyone, though. At least not after I got dysentery.
This one kind of blows my mind. The "buddies" are a current direct-to-video Disney franchise. They're offspring of the "Air Bud" movies from like the '90s that weren't even very popular at the time. They have like a million movies which are essentially just puppy porn, but with different themes, like "Halloween" or, in this case, "space." This is actually happening, people. Stand up and do something about it.
This one is, of course, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The cleaned up Disney version, not the slightly terrifying French original. But still, I don't remember the hunchback having a small child as a best friend. I'm pretty sure the hunchback wasn't allowed near children.
My sister got me Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame on DVD for my birthday. Hold on, that isn't the funny part yet. For some reason, the DVD came packaged with a bunch of Valentine's Day cards that look like a divorced dad bought them at CVS while taking the kids to school after realizing that it was, in fact, Valentine's Day. I'm dying to give these out to my coworkers, but on the other hand I'm not completely sure I'm ready to get fired yet. Here's just a sampling:
I don't even know what Disney movie these characters are from. Or why they're playing soccer. But it's always nice to be "decreed" someone's Valentine. I hear Queen Elizabeth issues those decrees all the time.
This I do recognize. It's from Pete's Dragon, which I remember thinking was dated and uncool when I was in like first grade. Seriously, this was the movie that, if they'd show it in class, you'd wonder if you maybe wouldn't rather be doing phonics worksheets instead.
The Swiss Family Robinson. I don't think I ever saw it, but I did visit their treehouse at Disney World, which I remember mainly because it was the place I first realized I was getting severely sunburned. I'm not sure I'd really love to be shipwrecked with anyone, though. At least not after I got dysentery.
This one kind of blows my mind. The "buddies" are a current direct-to-video Disney franchise. They're offspring of the "Air Bud" movies from like the '90s that weren't even very popular at the time. They have like a million movies which are essentially just puppy porn, but with different themes, like "Halloween" or, in this case, "space." This is actually happening, people. Stand up and do something about it.
This one is, of course, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The cleaned up Disney version, not the slightly terrifying French original. But still, I don't remember the hunchback having a small child as a best friend. I'm pretty sure the hunchback wasn't allowed near children.
