Saturday, February 25, 2012
Oscar Predictions 2012
The Oscars are finally here! Or so a person might say if they actually cared about the Oscars. I'll admit I'm finding it increasingly hard to get excited, what with all of the Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and Billy Crystal and Cirque du Soliel and all. It's like they hired my mother to plan out the Oscars. Although she would probably include dogs wearing funny hats as well.
Anyway, in the spirit of trying to care, here are my fearless predictions, which I've decided to do without a lick of research into the actual films or performances, just like the real Oscar voters do:
Best Supporting Actor -- Christopher Plummer's supposed to win this, right? I'm not sure I actually even know who else is nominated in this category. The dog from The Artist? All I know is that if someone gives Jonah Hill an Oscar I'm moving to Newt Gingrich's moon colony.
Best Supporting Actress -- Again, doesn't that lady from The Help have it all locked up? I was doing other things during a good portion of that movie, but she seemed okay.
Best Actor -- It's probably going to be Clooney, but I'm going with Shia LaBouef for Transformers 3. He deserves an award just for managing to stay awake through filming.
Best Actress -- As is true pretty much every year, this should be Meryl, but it will probably be the other nice lady from The Help. Let me just remind you that Meryl Streep and Hilary Swank have the same number of Oscars. And only one of them ever guested on 90210.
Best Director -- The guy who directed The Artist. He's French, he likes silent movies, he'll give a short speech. Everyone goes home happy.
Best Picture -- My head is telling me The Artist, but my heart is telling me National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Who doesn't love a surprise ending?
The Oscars are finally here! Or so a person might say if they actually cared about the Oscars. I'll admit I'm finding it increasingly hard to get excited, what with all of the Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and Billy Crystal and Cirque du Soliel and all. It's like they hired my mother to plan out the Oscars. Although she would probably include dogs wearing funny hats as well.
Anyway, in the spirit of trying to care, here are my fearless predictions, which I've decided to do without a lick of research into the actual films or performances, just like the real Oscar voters do:
Best Supporting Actor -- Christopher Plummer's supposed to win this, right? I'm not sure I actually even know who else is nominated in this category. The dog from The Artist? All I know is that if someone gives Jonah Hill an Oscar I'm moving to Newt Gingrich's moon colony.
Best Supporting Actress -- Again, doesn't that lady from The Help have it all locked up? I was doing other things during a good portion of that movie, but she seemed okay.
Best Actor -- It's probably going to be Clooney, but I'm going with Shia LaBouef for Transformers 3. He deserves an award just for managing to stay awake through filming.
Best Actress -- As is true pretty much every year, this should be Meryl, but it will probably be the other nice lady from The Help. Let me just remind you that Meryl Streep and Hilary Swank have the same number of Oscars. And only one of them ever guested on 90210.
Best Director -- The guy who directed The Artist. He's French, he likes silent movies, he'll give a short speech. Everyone goes home happy.
Best Picture -- My head is telling me The Artist, but my heart is telling me National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Who doesn't love a surprise ending?
