Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Tape Delayed Blogging the Demi Lovato MTV Special
First off, I'm really glad that Demi is finally opening up about her time on Barney & Friends, even if she did refer to it as a "gig." I appreciate the fact that as a small child she looked exactly like my forty-year-old paralegal. But when are we getting the dirt on Baby Bop?
Apparently, Demi still throws up and cuts herself occasionally, because she's "not perfect." Just like how I sometimes grab navy blue socks instead of black ones when it's dark in the morning.
Demi just made a reference to people on the internet who make fun of her and make her sad. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Demi Moore right now. It just sounds like I'm talking about Demi Lovato.
Performance footage. Now there are fans talking about how amazing Demi is and how she totally inspires them to be themselves. I'm going to scrutinize the credits carefully, because at this point I'm pretty convinced that Demi edited this thing herself.
Fast forwarding...
Now Demi's opening up about how her first Thanksgiving out of treatment is really hard for her. I blame her terrible hat. But I actually feel worse for the stuffing she just gave that dirty look to.
Is she going to bring out the backup dance she bitchslapped just before her trip to rehab?
I actually don't recognize a single one of her songs so far. Are her songs like a thing? I mean, if it were Selena Gomez I'd at least know a few. I put Demi Lovato more in a Raven category, frankly. You know, where they're mainly big personalities with butt chins and the music career is just kind of a comic diversion.
Now she's narrating her experience eating some chicken in rehab.
Now there are closeups of silverware.
Now the hat is back. Seriously, you're not Tiffany. Nor should you want to be.
All right, I'm giving up. I thought it would be hilarious, but it's all turned out kind of real.
First off, I'm really glad that Demi is finally opening up about her time on Barney & Friends, even if she did refer to it as a "gig." I appreciate the fact that as a small child she looked exactly like my forty-year-old paralegal. But when are we getting the dirt on Baby Bop?
Apparently, Demi still throws up and cuts herself occasionally, because she's "not perfect." Just like how I sometimes grab navy blue socks instead of black ones when it's dark in the morning.
Demi just made a reference to people on the internet who make fun of her and make her sad. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Demi Moore right now. It just sounds like I'm talking about Demi Lovato.
Performance footage. Now there are fans talking about how amazing Demi is and how she totally inspires them to be themselves. I'm going to scrutinize the credits carefully, because at this point I'm pretty convinced that Demi edited this thing herself.
Fast forwarding...
Now Demi's opening up about how her first Thanksgiving out of treatment is really hard for her. I blame her terrible hat. But I actually feel worse for the stuffing she just gave that dirty look to.
Is she going to bring out the backup dance she bitchslapped just before her trip to rehab?
I actually don't recognize a single one of her songs so far. Are her songs like a thing? I mean, if it were Selena Gomez I'd at least know a few. I put Demi Lovato more in a Raven category, frankly. You know, where they're mainly big personalities with butt chins and the music career is just kind of a comic diversion.
Now she's narrating her experience eating some chicken in rehab.
Now there are closeups of silverware.
Now the hat is back. Seriously, you're not Tiffany. Nor should you want to be.
All right, I'm giving up. I thought it would be hilarious, but it's all turned out kind of real.
