Wednesday, August 08, 2012
In Which I Perform Yet Another Public Service
As perhaps the world's only genuinely selfless human being, I am always looking to help others out. That's why I helpfully let people in my kickboxing class know that they've violated generally accepted standards of personal space by liberally giving out the evil eye, and why I freely employ the middle finger while driving so as to help other motorists improve their skills. It's also why I kindly share my anonymous comments on people's internet postings to let them know where their spelling and/or grammar and/or general physical appearance and/or choice of spouse could be improved. I'm just a giver, what can I say?
It is in this spirit of giving that I have previously had occasion hereon to provide useful feedback on friends' and relatives' weddings. It is also in this spirit that I now provide my first ever baby review, hopefully the first in an ongoing series.
The baby in question is my friend Amy's baby, Olivia. She's about nine weeks. I'd definitely give her top marks for sleeping quietly and having a good head of hair. She also has a positively Streeplike range of facial expressions for one so wee. Plus she's a total fashion plate, even if she doesn't exactly dress herself. I'm pretty sure Rachel Zoe is her stylist. As for the negative, she's not exactly a conversationalist. I made what I thought were some pretty trenchant points about a recent piece on the achievement gap in the Utne Reader, and she just looked at me like I was from outer space. Also she poops herself from time to time, but that I can handle.
As perhaps the world's only genuinely selfless human being, I am always looking to help others out. That's why I helpfully let people in my kickboxing class know that they've violated generally accepted standards of personal space by liberally giving out the evil eye, and why I freely employ the middle finger while driving so as to help other motorists improve their skills. It's also why I kindly share my anonymous comments on people's internet postings to let them know where their spelling and/or grammar and/or general physical appearance and/or choice of spouse could be improved. I'm just a giver, what can I say?
It is in this spirit of giving that I have previously had occasion hereon to provide useful feedback on friends' and relatives' weddings. It is also in this spirit that I now provide my first ever baby review, hopefully the first in an ongoing series.
The baby in question is my friend Amy's baby, Olivia. She's about nine weeks. I'd definitely give her top marks for sleeping quietly and having a good head of hair. She also has a positively Streeplike range of facial expressions for one so wee. Plus she's a total fashion plate, even if she doesn't exactly dress herself. I'm pretty sure Rachel Zoe is her stylist. As for the negative, she's not exactly a conversationalist. I made what I thought were some pretty trenchant points about a recent piece on the achievement gap in the Utne Reader, and she just looked at me like I was from outer space. Also she poops herself from time to time, but that I can handle.
