Sunday, August 19, 2012
So There's No Way This Won't Sound Random, But...
... did you know that you can give your baby away at any police station or hospital in Illinois for up to thirty days with no questions asked? It turns out that's what all those signs are about with the baby head in the giant hand. I thought they were just advertising for a child murderers' softball league. No, actually, I thought they just meant that mothers and children could hide out from domestic abusers or something at the places with those signs. I had no idea they were for baby a baby giveaway promotion! (I'm guessing it's run by one of the morning drive time radio shows or something.)
Of course, as always, there is fine print. You can't harm your baby before turning it over, and you actually have to talk to someone when you do it -- it's not like leaving your old couch outside of Goodwill overnight. And you only have those thirty days, so if your two-year-old is pissing you off, well, buyer beware! It's definitely kind of unfair in that regard, because really, babies are totally at their cutest in the first thirty days. They're all little and squinty (sort of like Mickey Rooney) and they haven't discovered sex or Carly Rae Jepsen yet. I mean, if they opened this up to teens, there'd be a line all the way down the block.
Other states have these laws, too, I guess, but the amount of time you get differs from place to place. In Mississippi and Alabama and a bunch of other places you only get three days to make up your mind! And in Texas I'm pretty sure they just immediately sentence the babies to death by lethal injection. They're tough but fair, as always.
And by the way, as I was looking up all this information, the website asked me if I wanted to "pin" it on Pinterest. Of course, I told it no; the blog is where I like to share all of my child abandonment news.
... did you know that you can give your baby away at any police station or hospital in Illinois for up to thirty days with no questions asked? It turns out that's what all those signs are about with the baby head in the giant hand. I thought they were just advertising for a child murderers' softball league. No, actually, I thought they just meant that mothers and children could hide out from domestic abusers or something at the places with those signs. I had no idea they were for baby a baby giveaway promotion! (I'm guessing it's run by one of the morning drive time radio shows or something.)
Of course, as always, there is fine print. You can't harm your baby before turning it over, and you actually have to talk to someone when you do it -- it's not like leaving your old couch outside of Goodwill overnight. And you only have those thirty days, so if your two-year-old is pissing you off, well, buyer beware! It's definitely kind of unfair in that regard, because really, babies are totally at their cutest in the first thirty days. They're all little and squinty (sort of like Mickey Rooney) and they haven't discovered sex or Carly Rae Jepsen yet. I mean, if they opened this up to teens, there'd be a line all the way down the block.
Other states have these laws, too, I guess, but the amount of time you get differs from place to place. In Mississippi and Alabama and a bunch of other places you only get three days to make up your mind! And in Texas I'm pretty sure they just immediately sentence the babies to death by lethal injection. They're tough but fair, as always.
And by the way, as I was looking up all this information, the website asked me if I wanted to "pin" it on Pinterest. Of course, I told it no; the blog is where I like to share all of my child abandonment news.
