Sunday, September 16, 2012
Another Line Crossed
I set a tape for a Lifetime movie on Friday night. I realized that it was wrong, but it starred Mischa Barton and the previews looked crazy over the top, so I just had to have it. (By the way, when I just googled Mischa Barton to make sure I was spelling her name right, the google suggestions were "Mischa Barton fat," "Mischa Barton weight gain," and "Mischa Barton weight," so maybe she needs to fire her agent.) As it turned out, however, "Cyberstalker" was no "Homecoming."
First of all, Mischa was playing the heroine in this movie, not the villain, and it's just a lot less believable that way. To be fair, she's not incredibly convincing as a human being to begin with, but I frankly found it difficult to relate to her when she wasn't tying people to beds and breaking their legs. Also, the movie starts when her character is in high school, and they opted to have her play it herself. They just kind of stuck her in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and some headphones and gave her a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. It did not work. And it was very important to the premise of the movie that computers are magic and can do anything -- from changing a traffic signal so someone is run down by a car to unlocking the doors in your hours -- in a matter of seconds. They kept underlining this by having Mischa say things like "You know me: low tech or no tech" and "I thought you were a technophobe, like me." In the end, the movie did sort of turn me into a technophobe, because it made me want to cancel my cable.
Important note: the movie also starred Dan Levy, Eugene Levy's son, who first came to my notice as one of the stars to The Hills Aftershow. Yes, someone who used to spend half an hour each week minutely dissecting the happenings on the least eventful television show of all time as though it were Gravity's Rainbow has managed to parlay that into an acting gig. In fact, I also saw his co-host on an episode of Degrassi, so THA is really churning out some powerful alums. Now if only Heidi and Spencer could get work.
Anyway, I'm not proud of my actions, but at least I didn't buy it on DVD. I'm pretty sure you can legitimately be subjected to civil commitment for such actions in at least thirty-eight states.
I set a tape for a Lifetime movie on Friday night. I realized that it was wrong, but it starred Mischa Barton and the previews looked crazy over the top, so I just had to have it. (By the way, when I just googled Mischa Barton to make sure I was spelling her name right, the google suggestions were "Mischa Barton fat," "Mischa Barton weight gain," and "Mischa Barton weight," so maybe she needs to fire her agent.) As it turned out, however, "Cyberstalker" was no "Homecoming."
First of all, Mischa was playing the heroine in this movie, not the villain, and it's just a lot less believable that way. To be fair, she's not incredibly convincing as a human being to begin with, but I frankly found it difficult to relate to her when she wasn't tying people to beds and breaking their legs. Also, the movie starts when her character is in high school, and they opted to have her play it herself. They just kind of stuck her in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and some headphones and gave her a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. It did not work. And it was very important to the premise of the movie that computers are magic and can do anything -- from changing a traffic signal so someone is run down by a car to unlocking the doors in your hours -- in a matter of seconds. They kept underlining this by having Mischa say things like "You know me: low tech or no tech" and "I thought you were a technophobe, like me." In the end, the movie did sort of turn me into a technophobe, because it made me want to cancel my cable.
Important note: the movie also starred Dan Levy, Eugene Levy's son, who first came to my notice as one of the stars to The Hills Aftershow. Yes, someone who used to spend half an hour each week minutely dissecting the happenings on the least eventful television show of all time as though it were Gravity's Rainbow has managed to parlay that into an acting gig. In fact, I also saw his co-host on an episode of Degrassi, so THA is really churning out some powerful alums. Now if only Heidi and Spencer could get work.
Anyway, I'm not proud of my actions, but at least I didn't buy it on DVD. I'm pretty sure you can legitimately be subjected to civil commitment for such actions in at least thirty-eight states.
