Monday, December 10, 2012
Coyote, Ugly
This Saturday I came home from the gym to the world's worst episode of CSI:
Yes, it appears that a pigeon bit it next to our side door. My first thought was that perhaps one of our neighbors has become a Satanist (my money's on third floor guy), but in that case he or she would probably want to keep the blood to drink in some sort of terrifying ritual, no? Also, would a pigeon sacrifice really appease his or her dark lord? I think S-dawgg would want a squirrel at least.
Then I recalled (vaguely, which is the only kind of recalling I seem to do these days) reading something about coyotes on the loose in Wrigleyville. A google search confirmed this to be the case. (Some cougars are also apparently on the loose in Wrigleyville, but not the sexy kind, and I couldn't really think of a pun for the title that worked with cougars, so I've decided the culprit was a coyote. Wait, how do you feel about Cougar Town? Or something about John Mellencamp?) So I became pretty convinced that there was a coyote attack right outside my house. Which led to an interesting incident where I screamed out at the top of my lungs because a common house cat ran out from under my car. Thankfully, this is Chicago, so everyone ignored my screams of pure terror.
And no, I don't think the house cat was the culprit. Have you ever seen a Chicago pigeon? Those things could take me in a fair fight. And believe me, it wouldn't be a fair fight.
This Saturday I came home from the gym to the world's worst episode of CSI:
Yes, it appears that a pigeon bit it next to our side door. My first thought was that perhaps one of our neighbors has become a Satanist (my money's on third floor guy), but in that case he or she would probably want to keep the blood to drink in some sort of terrifying ritual, no? Also, would a pigeon sacrifice really appease his or her dark lord? I think S-dawgg would want a squirrel at least.
Then I recalled (vaguely, which is the only kind of recalling I seem to do these days) reading something about coyotes on the loose in Wrigleyville. A google search confirmed this to be the case. (Some cougars are also apparently on the loose in Wrigleyville, but not the sexy kind, and I couldn't really think of a pun for the title that worked with cougars, so I've decided the culprit was a coyote. Wait, how do you feel about Cougar Town? Or something about John Mellencamp?) So I became pretty convinced that there was a coyote attack right outside my house. Which led to an interesting incident where I screamed out at the top of my lungs because a common house cat ran out from under my car. Thankfully, this is Chicago, so everyone ignored my screams of pure terror.
And no, I don't think the house cat was the culprit. Have you ever seen a Chicago pigeon? Those things could take me in a fair fight. And believe me, it wouldn't be a fair fight.
