Thursday, December 13, 2012
So Much Evil in the World
The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning, and Lindsay Lohan was not honored for her work in Liz & Dick. Incidentally, Liz & Dick was going to be the title of my memoir detailing my years with Roommate Liz, but then Lifetime beat me to it. I'm thinking about going with Liz & Penis instead.
But anyway, to the business at hand: what an incredible injustice! Does the Hollywood Foreign Press not realize the incredible effort it took simply for LiLo to remain upright for long enough to film a feature-length movie? Not to mention conscious? And all the time she spent working with scientists to develop an accent that didn't sound like anything in particular except maybe Lindsay Lohan after having dental work performed. I mean, if they couldn't nominate her for Best Actress in a TV Miniseries or Movie, what about other categories? Is there a Best Chain Smoking category? What about Most Realistic Trashing of Hotel Room?
And to see who they did nominate is just shocking. Helen Mirren? Please! That bitch couldn't act her way through an Imodium commercial after eating three bags of Taco Bell. Judi Dench? Has she ever even had a hit single? And don't even get me started on Maggie Smith. She knows what she did.
Our only hope now is that she'll show up anyway and somehow end up in a coke brawl with Sally Field. I'd like that; I'd really like that.
The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning, and Lindsay Lohan was not honored for her work in Liz & Dick. Incidentally, Liz & Dick was going to be the title of my memoir detailing my years with Roommate Liz, but then Lifetime beat me to it. I'm thinking about going with Liz & Penis instead.
But anyway, to the business at hand: what an incredible injustice! Does the Hollywood Foreign Press not realize the incredible effort it took simply for LiLo to remain upright for long enough to film a feature-length movie? Not to mention conscious? And all the time she spent working with scientists to develop an accent that didn't sound like anything in particular except maybe Lindsay Lohan after having dental work performed. I mean, if they couldn't nominate her for Best Actress in a TV Miniseries or Movie, what about other categories? Is there a Best Chain Smoking category? What about Most Realistic Trashing of Hotel Room?
And to see who they did nominate is just shocking. Helen Mirren? Please! That bitch couldn't act her way through an Imodium commercial after eating three bags of Taco Bell. Judi Dench? Has she ever even had a hit single? And don't even get me started on Maggie Smith. She knows what she did.
Our only hope now is that she'll show up anyway and somehow end up in a coke brawl with Sally Field. I'd like that; I'd really like that.
