Monday, February 18, 2013
Odds & Ends
Since I have the day off today, I decided to take care of a few miscellaneous errands around the city. This never goes well. I spent an hour and a half and more than $100 getting my oil changed, and the only magazines they had in the waiting area were like two-month-old Us Weeklies. I mean, that's like a full three Taylor Swift boyfriends ago. Thank God I had my phone so I could pretend to be very absorbed in it while my fellow patrons made small talk with one another about Jiffy Lubes they have known and how to use the single-cup coffee maker. I won't even trouble you with the creepiness that ensued with the massage chair that Jiffy insists on including in its waiting area. There are some things you just can't unread.
I also went to the pool at my gym, thinking today would be a nice, non-crowded time to get some laps in. Yet another miscalculation. There were senior citizens all over that pool, even though the water aerobics class had been over for more than half an hour. And they were not even swimming, but walking the length of the pool back and forth over and over again. And glaring at people who had the temerity to suggest they might consider sharing a lane. So I sat in the whirlpool and watched for a good twenty minutes until a lane opened up, which I promptly had to share with Lady Splashy McSplasherton. Do you ever have moments where drowning seems like the lesser of two evils?
Anyway, I'm home now, and staying put for at least a little while. More proof of my developing theory that leaving the house never, ever pays.
Since I have the day off today, I decided to take care of a few miscellaneous errands around the city. This never goes well. I spent an hour and a half and more than $100 getting my oil changed, and the only magazines they had in the waiting area were like two-month-old Us Weeklies. I mean, that's like a full three Taylor Swift boyfriends ago. Thank God I had my phone so I could pretend to be very absorbed in it while my fellow patrons made small talk with one another about Jiffy Lubes they have known and how to use the single-cup coffee maker. I won't even trouble you with the creepiness that ensued with the massage chair that Jiffy insists on including in its waiting area. There are some things you just can't unread.
I also went to the pool at my gym, thinking today would be a nice, non-crowded time to get some laps in. Yet another miscalculation. There were senior citizens all over that pool, even though the water aerobics class had been over for more than half an hour. And they were not even swimming, but walking the length of the pool back and forth over and over again. And glaring at people who had the temerity to suggest they might consider sharing a lane. So I sat in the whirlpool and watched for a good twenty minutes until a lane opened up, which I promptly had to share with Lady Splashy McSplasherton. Do you ever have moments where drowning seems like the lesser of two evils?
Anyway, I'm home now, and staying put for at least a little while. More proof of my developing theory that leaving the house never, ever pays.
