Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Can We Talk About Amanda Bynes for a Minute?
Of course I've always been a fan of her cinematic work. Watching her in She's The Man, you really believe that she's a man. A five-foot, intensely feminine, obviously crazy man, but a man nonetheless. Watching her in What A Girl Wants, you really believe that she's a sassy American teen shocking crusty British society with her unconventional style and attitude. You doubt that anyone would actually find any of this style or attitude shocking (and wish they would spare us the musical montage of Amanda Bynes trying on outfits at a flea market), but you believe her. Watching her in Syndey White, you really believe that she's a person who would think it's a good idea to agree to star in Sydney White.
But anyway, all of that is beside the point. The point is that The Bynes' recent behavior has given us all some cause for concern. Let's review the evidence, shall we? She retired from acting via twitter, then unretired. She started driving her car into people and things. She plead her case directly to the President of the United States, again via twitter. She announces that she is starting a fashion line, and yet mysteriously no clothes are forthcoming. She starts calling basically everyone ugly on twitter. She asks Drake to murder her vagina.
And then there is the physical evidence. Cheek studs. A blond wig that looks like it came out of the costume box in my storage unit. (Yes, I have a costume box. You know what? I bet Amanda Bynes does, too.) A nose job that she claims was "to remove webbing between her eyes." A bright blue wig. For court. Crazy eyes.
Amanda, we love you, we want you to live! But when even Courtney love is tweeting that you need to get your shit together, you know you're in trouble.
But anyway, all of that is beside the point. The point is that The Bynes' recent behavior has given us all some cause for concern. Let's review the evidence, shall we? She retired from acting via twitter, then unretired. She started driving her car into people and things. She plead her case directly to the President of the United States, again via twitter. She announces that she is starting a fashion line, and yet mysteriously no clothes are forthcoming. She starts calling basically everyone ugly on twitter. She asks Drake to murder her vagina.
And then there is the physical evidence. Cheek studs. A blond wig that looks like it came out of the costume box in my storage unit. (Yes, I have a costume box. You know what? I bet Amanda Bynes does, too.) A nose job that she claims was "to remove webbing between her eyes." A bright blue wig. For court. Crazy eyes.
Amanda, we love you, we want you to live! But when even Courtney love is tweeting that you need to get your shit together, you know you're in trouble.
