Tuesday, December 24, 2013
How Are We Celebrating Christmas This Year?
-- Selling hair to buy watch chain; realizing that market for hair has really tanked recently.
-- Listening to Frosty the Snowman's shrieks of agony when hit by the bright midday sun.
-- Refusing to give in to carolers' ridiculous demands for figgy pudding.
-- Nursing anger at God for allowing Idina Menzel to make a holiday children's film.
-- Wondering what the hell to do with these Twelve Lords a Leaping.
-- Eating an entire ham.
-- Scraping burnt reindeer cookies of the bottom of the oven.
-- Wishing midnight mass could be a little more country, a little more rock and roll.
-- Enjoying time with friends and family; suppressing desire to strangle friends and family.
-- Being amazed by the number of Christmas-themed Matlock episodes they made.
-- Taking our tops off.
-- Threatening to get litigious over mistletoe incidents.
-- Sobbing gently in the shower.
-- Selling hair to buy watch chain; realizing that market for hair has really tanked recently.
-- Listening to Frosty the Snowman's shrieks of agony when hit by the bright midday sun.
-- Refusing to give in to carolers' ridiculous demands for figgy pudding.
-- Nursing anger at God for allowing Idina Menzel to make a holiday children's film.
-- Wondering what the hell to do with these Twelve Lords a Leaping.
-- Eating an entire ham.
-- Scraping burnt reindeer cookies of the bottom of the oven.
-- Wishing midnight mass could be a little more country, a little more rock and roll.
-- Enjoying time with friends and family; suppressing desire to strangle friends and family.
-- Being amazed by the number of Christmas-themed Matlock episodes they made.
-- Taking our tops off.
-- Threatening to get litigious over mistletoe incidents.
-- Sobbing gently in the shower.
