Thursday, December 26, 2013
'Twas the Day After Christmas...
So I made the mistake of going out shopping today. I sort of knew it would be horrible but I needed contact solution badly. Now I know that it would have been preferable just to store my contacts in battery acid. I had to park approximately three hundred miles from the front door of the Wal-Mart, and on my way in I was body checked by a portly middle aged lady in a pink Garfield sweatshirt. Then I could of course not find anything, resulting in multiple trips back and forth through the people marauding around the post-Christmas clearance racks. (And really, how is candy kept all the way across the store from all of the other food type items?) And the checkout. My lord, the checkout. Apparently people view the twenty items or less sign as more aspirational than strictly binding. And the cashier was apparently trying out some new stand-up material for each person who passed through. It did give me time to read the article about Obama allegedly murdering the lady who verified his birth certificate. (It didn't take long to come up with that conspiracy theory, did it?) Anyway, it was awful and I shall never leave the house again. Or at least not until 6:30 or so.
So I made the mistake of going out shopping today. I sort of knew it would be horrible but I needed contact solution badly. Now I know that it would have been preferable just to store my contacts in battery acid. I had to park approximately three hundred miles from the front door of the Wal-Mart, and on my way in I was body checked by a portly middle aged lady in a pink Garfield sweatshirt. Then I could of course not find anything, resulting in multiple trips back and forth through the people marauding around the post-Christmas clearance racks. (And really, how is candy kept all the way across the store from all of the other food type items?) And the checkout. My lord, the checkout. Apparently people view the twenty items or less sign as more aspirational than strictly binding. And the cashier was apparently trying out some new stand-up material for each person who passed through. It did give me time to read the article about Obama allegedly murdering the lady who verified his birth certificate. (It didn't take long to come up with that conspiracy theory, did it?) Anyway, it was awful and I shall never leave the house again. Or at least not until 6:30 or so.
