Thursday, March 12, 2015
I Have Some Things To Say About Murder, She Wrote
Sorry to be so cutting edge and contemporary on you all, but the fact of the matter is that I have some things to say about Murder, She Wrote.
I've been watching the shit out of it lately, largely thanks to the largesse of Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, and it seems designed almost entirely to fuel the fantasy lives of nosy old women. J.B. Fletcher sticks her nose into just about every place it doesn't belong, and people just tell her how delightful she is. Sure, every once in a while some big city cop doesn't cotton to her tampering with evidence or badgering a witness, but even those sticks in the mud always come around when she has one of her trademark random epiphanies induced by someone's offhand comment about boxcars or the price of peanuts. It's porn for the elderly.
And the guest stars, oh the guest stars! Courtney Cox makes an appearance, I believe as one of Jessica's nieces. She has like ten thousand nieces and nephews, including the recurring character of Grady, an adult man so naïve and ridiculous that it's surprising he hasn't managed to accidentally strangle himself with his pants or something. She finally gets him married off, though, and to money to boot.
Oh, but I was talking about guest stars. Bryan Cranston is there, in a tennis-themed episode entitled "Menace, Anyone?" no less. Neil Patrick Harris has a touching role as a spunky teen who wants to be a writer like Jessica but naturally ends up being accused of murder. This must have been the moment when he knew he was gay. Julianna Margulies plays a stone cold bitch, as usual, and Cynthia Nixon plays someone with weird mouse teeth. Tom Selleck also appears, but that was the Magnum, P.I. crossover, so it doesn't really count.
A lot of times when Jessica confronts someone about being the real killer they try to kill her. She's always ready for them, though, with the local constabulary eavesdropping from the next room. She doesn't really even seem phased by it, at this point.
It's really tragic that they only made about ten thousand episodes of it. Though I'm glad the proposed Octavia Spencer reboot didn't pan out. I just don't think she can pull off the appropriate amount of bitchface.
Sorry to be so cutting edge and contemporary on you all, but the fact of the matter is that I have some things to say about Murder, She Wrote.
I've been watching the shit out of it lately, largely thanks to the largesse of Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, and it seems designed almost entirely to fuel the fantasy lives of nosy old women. J.B. Fletcher sticks her nose into just about every place it doesn't belong, and people just tell her how delightful she is. Sure, every once in a while some big city cop doesn't cotton to her tampering with evidence or badgering a witness, but even those sticks in the mud always come around when she has one of her trademark random epiphanies induced by someone's offhand comment about boxcars or the price of peanuts. It's porn for the elderly.
And the guest stars, oh the guest stars! Courtney Cox makes an appearance, I believe as one of Jessica's nieces. She has like ten thousand nieces and nephews, including the recurring character of Grady, an adult man so naïve and ridiculous that it's surprising he hasn't managed to accidentally strangle himself with his pants or something. She finally gets him married off, though, and to money to boot.
Oh, but I was talking about guest stars. Bryan Cranston is there, in a tennis-themed episode entitled "Menace, Anyone?" no less. Neil Patrick Harris has a touching role as a spunky teen who wants to be a writer like Jessica but naturally ends up being accused of murder. This must have been the moment when he knew he was gay. Julianna Margulies plays a stone cold bitch, as usual, and Cynthia Nixon plays someone with weird mouse teeth. Tom Selleck also appears, but that was the Magnum, P.I. crossover, so it doesn't really count.
A lot of times when Jessica confronts someone about being the real killer they try to kill her. She's always ready for them, though, with the local constabulary eavesdropping from the next room. She doesn't really even seem phased by it, at this point.
It's really tragic that they only made about ten thousand episodes of it. Though I'm glad the proposed Octavia Spencer reboot didn't pan out. I just don't think she can pull off the appropriate amount of bitchface.
