Thursday, January 21, 2016
Good Morning America
So this morning it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to make the six and a half mile trip from my house to my office. It was an amazing journey, which I assure you will be optioned for a major motion picture any time now.
The fun started when I got all the way to the train station before realizing I had left the house without, well, any of my belongings. No work bag, no gym stuff, no lunch. How this happened I cannot say; I can only blame Ashlee Simpson and her amazing hit single "La la" for distracting me, I guess.
After a quick dash back to the house, where I set off the alarm and caused what appeared to be a series of canine heart palpitations, I got back to the train, this time fully equipped for my journey. And lo, what luck! A purple line was waiting right there for me.
Now generally I am delighted to get a purple line because it goes straight to my office building, whereas the red line forces me to walk the unbearable distance of two blocks once I arrive downtown. But what I did not realize was that this purple line would, from the moment it was too late to transfer to any other line, make no fewer than four unplanned stops for an increasingly comic series of reasons. I believe the last one was that the operator was feeling despondent following the lackluster box office performance of Steve Jobs.
Nor did I anticipate that there would be not one but two pungent and vocal homeless individuals on this particular purple line. Which is fine for your garden variety trip down to the Loop; I enjoy random screamed expletives as much as the next person. But after forty-five minutes or so, some of the material starts to feel a bit recycled.
Anyway, I made it to work only slightly late, and I'm super middle class and this is America, so I am properly grateful. But man do they need to get that teleportation technology up to speed stat.
So this morning it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to make the six and a half mile trip from my house to my office. It was an amazing journey, which I assure you will be optioned for a major motion picture any time now.
The fun started when I got all the way to the train station before realizing I had left the house without, well, any of my belongings. No work bag, no gym stuff, no lunch. How this happened I cannot say; I can only blame Ashlee Simpson and her amazing hit single "La la" for distracting me, I guess.
After a quick dash back to the house, where I set off the alarm and caused what appeared to be a series of canine heart palpitations, I got back to the train, this time fully equipped for my journey. And lo, what luck! A purple line was waiting right there for me.
Now generally I am delighted to get a purple line because it goes straight to my office building, whereas the red line forces me to walk the unbearable distance of two blocks once I arrive downtown. But what I did not realize was that this purple line would, from the moment it was too late to transfer to any other line, make no fewer than four unplanned stops for an increasingly comic series of reasons. I believe the last one was that the operator was feeling despondent following the lackluster box office performance of Steve Jobs.
Nor did I anticipate that there would be not one but two pungent and vocal homeless individuals on this particular purple line. Which is fine for your garden variety trip down to the Loop; I enjoy random screamed expletives as much as the next person. But after forty-five minutes or so, some of the material starts to feel a bit recycled.
Anyway, I made it to work only slightly late, and I'm super middle class and this is America, so I am properly grateful. But man do they need to get that teleportation technology up to speed stat.
