Sunday, January 13, 2019
Oscar Race 2019!
I figure that, as someone who has seen almost none of the movies in the running for the big prizes this year (were any Hallmark Channel flicks nominated?), I am in an ideal position to provide a little bit of commentary. Feel free to use this in your office Oscar pools, should such things actually exist, which seems doubtful.
The Favourite -- I assume this will win everything because of the title. Not just because "The Favourite is the Favorite" headlines write themselves, but because of the classy spelling as well.
Vice -- It took me a while to understand that this was about Dick Cheney and not, say, prostitution. Or are they really the same thing? Anyway, I hope Amy Adams wins something for this because it's starting to get kind of sad for her at this point.
Bohemian Rhapsody -- I do know what this one is. I refused to see it, though, because I heard Freddie Mercury is only like mildly homosexual in it. Also because I just can't bring myself to care that much about Queen, although I did enjoy the Wayne's World movies. Are they nominated for anything?
Green Book -- This seems to have something to do with racism, and how it's bad. So I'm on board.
If Beale Street Could Talk -- Isn't Regina King the one who was on 227? She should get everything.
A Star is Born -- I was super anti Lady Gaga as Actress because of American Horror Story, but I hear she's actually good. I honestly meant to see this, but the movie theater is like two blocks away.
Roma -- Subtitles are hard for me because I like to do other things while I watch TV. That candy isn't going to crush itself, okay?
First Man -- I know it's about an astronaut, who must have sick abs, since he's played by Ryan Gosling. I did a pretty amazing diorama about space in third grade, though, so I feel like I've got it covered.
Mary Poppins Returns -- I remembered liking the original as a kid, but I tried to watch it again a few years back and it's like legit three hours long and slow as fuck. Hopefully they added some car chases to the new one.
Okay, that's all I've got. You're welcome!
I figure that, as someone who has seen almost none of the movies in the running for the big prizes this year (were any Hallmark Channel flicks nominated?), I am in an ideal position to provide a little bit of commentary. Feel free to use this in your office Oscar pools, should such things actually exist, which seems doubtful.
The Favourite -- I assume this will win everything because of the title. Not just because "The Favourite is the Favorite" headlines write themselves, but because of the classy spelling as well.
Vice -- It took me a while to understand that this was about Dick Cheney and not, say, prostitution. Or are they really the same thing? Anyway, I hope Amy Adams wins something for this because it's starting to get kind of sad for her at this point.
Bohemian Rhapsody -- I do know what this one is. I refused to see it, though, because I heard Freddie Mercury is only like mildly homosexual in it. Also because I just can't bring myself to care that much about Queen, although I did enjoy the Wayne's World movies. Are they nominated for anything?
Green Book -- This seems to have something to do with racism, and how it's bad. So I'm on board.
If Beale Street Could Talk -- Isn't Regina King the one who was on 227? She should get everything.
A Star is Born -- I was super anti Lady Gaga as Actress because of American Horror Story, but I hear she's actually good. I honestly meant to see this, but the movie theater is like two blocks away.
Roma -- Subtitles are hard for me because I like to do other things while I watch TV. That candy isn't going to crush itself, okay?
First Man -- I know it's about an astronaut, who must have sick abs, since he's played by Ryan Gosling. I did a pretty amazing diorama about space in third grade, though, so I feel like I've got it covered.
Mary Poppins Returns -- I remembered liking the original as a kid, but I tried to watch it again a few years back and it's like legit three hours long and slow as fuck. Hopefully they added some car chases to the new one.
Okay, that's all I've got. You're welcome!
