Sunday, July 21, 2019
Photographic Memory
I had to go get a new passport photo for my renewal. It went predictably well.
JAY: I need to get a passport photo taken?
CLERK: (long sigh)
JAY: Am I in the right place?
CLERK: Oh yeah, I'm just thrilled you're here.
JAY: OK, well I can...
CLERK: Just give me a minute. (humming to herself, clicking keys on register) Passport, passport. Mm-hmm, okay. Just wait here. (taking three steps) Shanice, I gotta take some passport photos, okay? Passport photos! Mm-hmm.
JAY: I can come back.
CLERK: Naw, just come over here. (grabbing camera, pulling down screen, nearly knocking man off of stool in front of scanning station) Whoops, gonna need you to do that somewhere else for a while.
SCANNING MAN: Where else am I going to do it?
CLERK: OK, you don't need to get hostile. Just give me some room. I gotta take these passport photos.
SCANNING MAN: Well, this is where the scanner is.
CLERK: Uh huh, I hear you. Why don't you just take a break, get some beef jerky or something.
JAY: I'm so sorry.
SCANNING MAN: I've been here for an hour. This thing isn't working right. Is there someone who can...
CLERK: Kay, I'm doin' these passport photos right now.
SCANNING MAN: And now it just froze up. What the hell?! I want to see a manager. (storms off)
CLERK: People are cranky today. Okay, stand in front of the screen.
JAY: (complying) Got it. Let me know when...
CLERK: Your eyes were closed. You gotta keep your eyes open.
JAY: Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were taking it.
CLERK: OK, well I'm taking it. One, two . . . you're sure that's the shirt you want to wear? Gonna have this for a long time.
JAY: What's wrong with . . .
CLERK: Got it. Now I just gotta put it on the computer.
Needless to say, I look like a hostage taker in my passport photo.
I had to go get a new passport photo for my renewal. It went predictably well.
JAY: I need to get a passport photo taken?
CLERK: (long sigh)
JAY: Am I in the right place?
CLERK: Oh yeah, I'm just thrilled you're here.
JAY: OK, well I can...
CLERK: Just give me a minute. (humming to herself, clicking keys on register) Passport, passport. Mm-hmm, okay. Just wait here. (taking three steps) Shanice, I gotta take some passport photos, okay? Passport photos! Mm-hmm.
JAY: I can come back.
CLERK: Naw, just come over here. (grabbing camera, pulling down screen, nearly knocking man off of stool in front of scanning station) Whoops, gonna need you to do that somewhere else for a while.
SCANNING MAN: Where else am I going to do it?
CLERK: OK, you don't need to get hostile. Just give me some room. I gotta take these passport photos.
SCANNING MAN: Well, this is where the scanner is.
CLERK: Uh huh, I hear you. Why don't you just take a break, get some beef jerky or something.
JAY: I'm so sorry.
SCANNING MAN: I've been here for an hour. This thing isn't working right. Is there someone who can...
CLERK: Kay, I'm doin' these passport photos right now.
SCANNING MAN: And now it just froze up. What the hell?! I want to see a manager. (storms off)
CLERK: People are cranky today. Okay, stand in front of the screen.
JAY: (complying) Got it. Let me know when...
CLERK: Your eyes were closed. You gotta keep your eyes open.
JAY: Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were taking it.
CLERK: OK, well I'm taking it. One, two . . . you're sure that's the shirt you want to wear? Gonna have this for a long time.
JAY: What's wrong with . . .
CLERK: Got it. Now I just gotta put it on the computer.
Needless to say, I look like a hostage taker in my passport photo.
