Sunday, February 16, 2020
I'd Like to Thank the Academy
Can you believe it's already been a week since the Oscars? Probably not, since if you're anything like most people, you forgot that they were even happening. Here are some highlights to treasure in your heart forever:
-- Janelle Monae joins the long line of performers who clearly did not quite know what they were getting themselves into when agreeing to perform at the Oscars, i.e. Rob Lowe and Snow White.
-- Brad Pitt wins Best Supporting Actor, but HOW DOES JENNIFER ANISTON FEEL ABOUT IT?
-- People keep referencing how great female directors are, which is totally as good as any female director actually being nominated for anything.
-- Laura Dern wins basically for people liking Laura Dern, because I know like two people who actually saw Marriage story, and one of the was Laura Dern.
-- Eminem is there for some reason.
-- Rebel Wilson and James Corden try to somehow trick everyone into thinking that the visual effects were the only bad thing about Cats.
-- Everyone everywhere googles the name of Bong Joon Ho's intrepid translator.
-- Montages, montages, montages!
-- Joaquin Phoenix takes the occasion of his Best Actor win to shed a much-needed spotlight on the insemination of cows.
-- Renee Zellweger still doesn't quite succeed in getting America to forget about what she did to her face.
-- Parasite wins best picture, and all historical bias against Asians is now and forever fixed.
Can you believe it's already been a week since the Oscars? Probably not, since if you're anything like most people, you forgot that they were even happening. Here are some highlights to treasure in your heart forever:
-- Janelle Monae joins the long line of performers who clearly did not quite know what they were getting themselves into when agreeing to perform at the Oscars, i.e. Rob Lowe and Snow White.
-- Brad Pitt wins Best Supporting Actor, but HOW DOES JENNIFER ANISTON FEEL ABOUT IT?
-- People keep referencing how great female directors are, which is totally as good as any female director actually being nominated for anything.
-- Laura Dern wins basically for people liking Laura Dern, because I know like two people who actually saw Marriage story, and one of the was Laura Dern.
-- Eminem is there for some reason.
-- Rebel Wilson and James Corden try to somehow trick everyone into thinking that the visual effects were the only bad thing about Cats.
-- Everyone everywhere googles the name of Bong Joon Ho's intrepid translator.
-- Montages, montages, montages!
-- Joaquin Phoenix takes the occasion of his Best Actor win to shed a much-needed spotlight on the insemination of cows.
-- Renee Zellweger still doesn't quite succeed in getting America to forget about what she did to her face.
-- Parasite wins best picture, and all historical bias against Asians is now and forever fixed.
