the ocean

I'm sure that someday I will both do something and feel like I can write about it again. But I'm frankly not doing that much that's interesting right now and, when I do, I don't really want to expose myself to public judgment. So more from the archive. 

This is a parody of the song "Happy" I wrote for my annual lawyer musical but never used. Based on the pop culture references, I'd guess it's about a 2014 vintage.

"Happy"

Real American One: Supreme Court took my birth control away!

My son got fired, just because he’s gay.

And the mess in Iraq gets worse every day.

But I swear, I just don’t care baby let me say.

All: Because I'm happy…

Real American Two: Every day I get to play Candy Crush and Words With Friends!
All: Because I'm happy…
Real American Three: Thanks to Golden Girls reruns the laughter never ends!
All: Because I'm happy…
Real American Four: Taco Bell serves breakfast now; Waffle Tacos are the best!
All: Because I'm happy…

Real American Five: Watch some Game of Thrones and you just might see a little breast! 

RA2: The scientists say our planet’s getting hot!
Seems like each day somebody’s getting shot.

Well, you will probably tell me I should give it thought,
No offense to you, don't waste your time
Here's why

All: Because I’m happy…

RA3: I can watch kittens sneeze on YouTube any time!

All: Because I’m happy…

RA4: When you’ve got Kardashians, who cares about war crime?!

All: Because I’m happy…

RA5: All the news that I need I get from Us Weekly.

All: Because I’m happy…

RA1: Like that time that Taylor Swift went out with a Kennedy! 

All: Happy, happy, happy… (and so on, as in original, with the following layered over the top)
RA3: Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
Free Starbucks Wi Fi!
RA4: Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
I said (let me tell you now)
Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
My morning Red Eye!
RA5: Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
I said

All: Because I’m happy…

RA1: Who can cry about the news when there’s Netflix to watch?

All: Because I’m happy…

RA2: I once found a website that’s all about Tilda Swinton’s crotch.

All: Because I’m happy…

RA3: I can send my kid away to Twilight Fantasy Camp!

All: Because I’m happy…

RA4: And I’m really pumped about the new Charlton Heston stamp!

(Fade out.)