the ocean

Over the past year of quarantine, I've sampled quite a number of YouTube workouts. I'm frankly not sure how effective any workout regime could be under circumstances where I am in my house all day with various cheeses, but I do think these workouts have at least given me a fighting chance. And they are fascinating, because it turns out the type of people who are inclined to post footage of themselves grunting and sweating are also likely to overshare in other, more entertaining ways. One lady in particular managed to fit in complaints about her husband buying the wrong kind of bottled water (outrageous), her mother letting the kids listen to music with adult content (kids gotta learn about WAPs at some point), and her coworkers all being dumber than her (natch) in between sets of burpees and vaguely threatening shouts of encouragement. There's a also a couple that sometimes allows their infant to freely crawl about the room grasping at outlets and sharp objects as they sweat to the oldies, not to mention a lady who often wears tight white workout pants with no underwear, such that one can easily discern her Grey's Anatomy. So in addition to a workout, I get a terrifying encounter with the vast, strange expanse of humanity.

As the vaccinations roll out and it becomes safer, I expect I'll probably return to my gym, so I can pay $68 a month for the pleasure of having a general studies major inflict her taste in music on me while forcing me to do mountain climbers. But I will definitely keep my YouTube friends in the picture as well. I view it as I'm basically performing wellness checks and burning calories at the same time.