the ocean

I don't know about you, but I was rocked to my very core by Scarlett Johansson's lawsuit against Disney this week. I mean, if the internationally-tolerated, sometimes-blonde star of The Other Boleyn Girl and a billion-dollar corporation propagating lies about social politeness to children can't get along, what hope is there for the rest of us? I always liked to imagine that Scarlett and Bob Chapek, the CEO of Disney who I doubt anyone could pick out of a lineup, would get together on the weekends to grill tofu burgers and laugh about how they had managed to convince people that Jeremy Renner was a real person. But alas, there is discord in the House of Mouse, and on the sordid topic of coin, no less. 

Unlike everyone on the internet, I can't develop an instant opinion about the merits of the case because I haven't seen the actual contract, which is after all what the lawsuit is based on, as opposed to which party can pull of hats better or our lingering bad feelings about The Mandalorian. I do think it was a pretty impressive move on Disney's part to respond by basically accusing ScarJo of being a greedy ho who just doesn't understand how hard COVID has been on the little people, specifically giant companies with a bunch of empty cruise ships to support. I would have taken it a step farther by claiming that she personally developed the virus with Huma Abedin in a Wuhan lab, but I was not specifically retained for this case, so what can you do?

I do think everyone kind of needs to take it all down a notch in this unprecedented era. (For truly, are not all eras at least a tad bit unprecedented?) Nobody needs to lose sleep over either ScarJo's inability to purchase a second private island or Disney's fading chance to own the hopes and dreams of literally everyone, everywhere. COVID is real and probably worth at least minimal efforts to try to not get and die from, but also maybe we're not all going to die from it tomorrow because someone's Aunt Trudy in Tulsa forgot her mask for her weekly trip to the Piggly Wiggly. I guess I'm just for less shouting at each other in general. Except for the Real Housewives; they depend on shouting for their incomes.