the ocean

This time into the heart of my colon! 

I had my first ever colonoscopy this week, and I don't want to brag, but I had no polyps and don't have to do another one for ten years. Also I received the top score on the Boston Bowel Preparation Scale. Is it weird to put that on my resume? I'm intensely proud of my clean colon.

It was definitely a process, and by that I mean awful. A full day of a clear liquid diet, which meant the most substantive food I got was 90 calories worth of chicken broth. And then I had to drink all the prep liquid, which resulted in me calling my mother in a panic to ask if she thought I really had to finish it. She did, and I did, with the help of Ginger Ale, which I actually don't even really like. But boy did it help with the nausea. My love and admiration to Ginger Ale forever for that.

And yes, I spent a lot of time on the toilet during the prep. I have never been so current on Instagram. It seems like the cast of One Tree Hill had a lot of fun at their get together.

The procedure itself was surreal. I had no sense that I was "going under," and yet my memory jumps straight from them prepping the IV to them telling me it was almost over and I was doing great. (Obviously.) And then the recovery room, where I napped for half an hour and then they gave me apple juice and pretzels. Again, not even a huge pretzel fan (though I do love huge pretzels) but I will remember and love those pretzels for the rest of my days.

Anyway, I've got an amazing colon and you should all be jealous. Take that, America.