the ocean

What a crazy year it was! At least I think so based on my review of numerous online compendia of the year's events, many of which I had forgotten happened. Sorry about that, Pope Benedict. You died during what must have been a pretty tumultuous time in my life, or I was streaming something particularly compelling, who knows. Anyway, here are some things I did remember!

President Trump Charged. And charged, and charged. I mean, innocent until proven guilty, am I right? Unless you're an African-American teen falsely accused of sexual assault that is.

Taylor Swift Eras Tour. I can't say I 100% get it but I'm not like actively opposed to it, either. We need something to keep white ladies off the streets. 

Ukraine War. Yes, still a thing. I'm definitely not in favor of war. I'll take a strong stand for preferring people alive. And you can just copy and paste this trenchant commentary for Gaza.

Exploding SpaceX Rocket. So I take it that the whole exploding thing was not the intended result? Sorry for, you know, whoever.

Strikes! I support the working man. Even if that working man produced scripts for Two and a Half Men. Even if that working man is Tilda Swinton. I'm just supportive, generally. Kind of my thing.

King Charles. Whatever voodoo he used to get Well Known Attractive Man Dominic West cast as him for The Crown is impressive. But I'm sad no one asked me to read a poem at the coronation or anything.

That Submarine Thing. Yikes. Not even on my list of ways to go. 

Barbenheimer. Why does everything have to be a thing? Like, two movies came out the same weekend, a thing that happens pretty much all the time. And there were costumes for it?

X. This thing kind of has Crystal Pepsi vibes, not going to lie.

Maui Wildfires. Terrible, terrible. And it's actually not helpful for you to post about how much you enjoyed your vacation in Hawaii.

Speaker of the House Mess. The only worse job I can think of is CEO of X.

Hot Takes on Famous People Dying. Shall we refrain?

Beyonce. I just wanted to mention her, honestly. She's welcome to come over and hang any time she wants. Ideally she'd bring Taco Bell.