Sunday, January 05, 2025
Disney Adult
After years of ominous rumblings, my extended family finally made the pilgrimage to Disneyworld this past week. It was overall a very nice experience and the kids had the time of their lives, which was in fact all that mattered. At the same time, and as one might expect, I have a lot of thoughts.
The worst of humanity is certainly on display at Disneyworld. I witnessed a grown woman pushing past a child to get a better spot in the Lightning Lane line. I saw some uncomfortable and seemingly nonconsensual touching of Disney characters. And the constant grasping for more, more, more -- better ride seats, reservations at mediocre yet highly-sought-after restaurants, more park time -- is exhausting and tragically symbolic of the American experience.
At the same time, the people who work there really care intensely about the guests having good experiences, almost to the point of insanity. When my niece was traumatized by a dinosaur lurching at her on a ride, a cast member consoled her and gave her a button for being brave. When my mother ordered a patty melt without the bread, the cast member barely batted an eyelash. When Ian somehow became nauseous after riding the incredibly benign "People Mover," the first aid staff directed him to a truly gorgeous cot to nap and recover. Whatever they are paid, I guarantee it is not enough to deal with the madness people throw at them each and every day.
The food situation is troubling. The take out places generally have 6-8 options, which tend towards kid friendly items like hamburgers, chicken fingers, and mac and cheese. Often there's some sort of aggressive salad. These items are totally unobjectionable and taste fine, but the variety is lacking. I am not sure I ever want to see a french fry again, and I love french fries.
Some cultural appropriation issues remain. We stayed at the Carribean Beach Resort, where a largely white staff welcomed us "to the islands." The Animal Kingdom contains areas designed to look like Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world, but minus the actual human occupants of those parts of the world. The "natives" have now been removed from the Jungle Cruise, but the exoticism remains. I mean, I understand that Disney can't fix America, but still.
Disney Adults are real. And they have made custom t-shirts for their visits. Whether they are "The Dadalorian" or "Princess Security" or just "done adulting" such that they recommend we "go to Disney," they present a real and present threat.
That's not even the half of it. But I'm exhausted, so I'll write more in the future.
