Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Perspectives
– Tom Brokaw’s Retirement. I would care more, but I’m usually watching the six o’ clock Seinfeld rerun while he’s on, anyway. I do think he has better hair than Peter Jennings, though, and fewer annoying colloquialisms than Dan Rather.
– Desperate Housewives. Every woman on the show is at one point or another portrayed as clueless, sadistic, or just plain crazy, and yet I’m hooked. Maybe I’m just hoping that Teri Hatcher will stop doing those Radio Shack commercials now.
– The Generation Gap. For some reason, groups of naked old men never fail to cluster around my locker at the gym and carry on long, intense conversations about insurance or boating. Is it something I’m putting out there? Maybe I should take down the Matlock poster.
– Productivity. Now that each day features only about two hours of sunlight, I find myself having random narcoleptic fits. Last night I fell asleep while reading and dreamed that I was still reading, resulting in some rather bizarre plot developments. I mean, there aren’t unicorns in The Bonfire of the Vanities, right?
– Holiday Cheer. I nearly got into a fistfight the other day with a woman who tried to steal a box of Christmas cards from my cart while I wasn’t looking. Because getting arrested at Big Lots is just what I needed to make my season bright.
– Tom Brokaw’s Retirement. I would care more, but I’m usually watching the six o’ clock Seinfeld rerun while he’s on, anyway. I do think he has better hair than Peter Jennings, though, and fewer annoying colloquialisms than Dan Rather.
– Desperate Housewives. Every woman on the show is at one point or another portrayed as clueless, sadistic, or just plain crazy, and yet I’m hooked. Maybe I’m just hoping that Teri Hatcher will stop doing those Radio Shack commercials now.
– The Generation Gap. For some reason, groups of naked old men never fail to cluster around my locker at the gym and carry on long, intense conversations about insurance or boating. Is it something I’m putting out there? Maybe I should take down the Matlock poster.
– Productivity. Now that each day features only about two hours of sunlight, I find myself having random narcoleptic fits. Last night I fell asleep while reading and dreamed that I was still reading, resulting in some rather bizarre plot developments. I mean, there aren’t unicorns in The Bonfire of the Vanities, right?
– Holiday Cheer. I nearly got into a fistfight the other day with a woman who tried to steal a box of Christmas cards from my cart while I wasn’t looking. Because getting arrested at Big Lots is just what I needed to make my season bright.
