Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Not Necessarily the News
As work has come to be a larger and larger part of my life, I have become increasingly unaware of the news. As CNN and I were never the best of friends in the first place, my current events discourse has descended to the level of a third grader with a head wound and a copy of Weekly Reader.
For instance, today my excite news headline read "Hamas Doing Better than Expected in Vote." This caused me to wonder, at first, whether the American Idol season had progressed farther than I had initially thought. After remembering that Hamas was not, in fact, a spunky Latin American teen with an illegitimate daughter and a penchant for Celine Dion songs, I actually clicked on the article, but there weren't enough photographs to keep me going past the first paragraph. And the one picture they did have was of a guy sitting on the hood of a car. Did they get this story mixed up with the hardhitting one about senior portraits?
I do still see The Daily Show every now and then, but I always turn off the boring part with the interviews. I watch WGN in the morning, but that's just because I enjoy awkward banter and people who try too hard. And that's only if the Saved By the Bell is boring me. Oh, and sometimes I read the back of someone else's RedEye on the train. But that's usually just celebrity stuff, and I have a saying: if it's about Paris Hilton, it's not news.
Bill O'Reilly would be so disappointed in me.
As work has come to be a larger and larger part of my life, I have become increasingly unaware of the news. As CNN and I were never the best of friends in the first place, my current events discourse has descended to the level of a third grader with a head wound and a copy of Weekly Reader.
For instance, today my excite news headline read "Hamas Doing Better than Expected in Vote." This caused me to wonder, at first, whether the American Idol season had progressed farther than I had initially thought. After remembering that Hamas was not, in fact, a spunky Latin American teen with an illegitimate daughter and a penchant for Celine Dion songs, I actually clicked on the article, but there weren't enough photographs to keep me going past the first paragraph. And the one picture they did have was of a guy sitting on the hood of a car. Did they get this story mixed up with the hardhitting one about senior portraits?
I do still see The Daily Show every now and then, but I always turn off the boring part with the interviews. I watch WGN in the morning, but that's just because I enjoy awkward banter and people who try too hard. And that's only if the Saved By the Bell is boring me. Oh, and sometimes I read the back of someone else's RedEye on the train. But that's usually just celebrity stuff, and I have a saying: if it's about Paris Hilton, it's not news.
Bill O'Reilly would be so disappointed in me.
