Sunday, August 09, 2009
Hot Town, Summer In the City
So it's like 98 degrees in Chicago today. I'm not complaining, because for months I have been lobbying for some actual summer-like weather. So even if it seems like I'm complaining, rest assured that that is not in fact what I am doing. It's more like I'm celebrating the hot weather by discussing the way it sucks and I hate it. Keep that in mind.
Today we were going to refinish the back deck, but we were thwarted by the heat. The can of finish says right on it that you're not supposed to use it on days that are over 90 degrees. Or any time there might be rain within 72 hours. I'm not making that up. My can of finish has more performance prerequisites than Mariah Carey. It is also locked in a bitter feud with Eminem, from what I understand.
There was some awesome sassiness to be had from the Home Depot employees, that's for sure. They did not enjoy my questions about different finishes one bit. Their responses sounded like the opening lines of one of Faulkner's lesser novels. Plus they had a lot of opinions about the way people should stand in line to check out. I have drawn many helpful lessons from their many teaching points.
It is so hot that I just want to lie in my house with the air conditioning cranked up so high I have to snuggle under a blanket. I understand that this makes me symptomatic of everything that's wrong with America today.
So it's like 98 degrees in Chicago today. I'm not complaining, because for months I have been lobbying for some actual summer-like weather. So even if it seems like I'm complaining, rest assured that that is not in fact what I am doing. It's more like I'm celebrating the hot weather by discussing the way it sucks and I hate it. Keep that in mind.
Today we were going to refinish the back deck, but we were thwarted by the heat. The can of finish says right on it that you're not supposed to use it on days that are over 90 degrees. Or any time there might be rain within 72 hours. I'm not making that up. My can of finish has more performance prerequisites than Mariah Carey. It is also locked in a bitter feud with Eminem, from what I understand.
There was some awesome sassiness to be had from the Home Depot employees, that's for sure. They did not enjoy my questions about different finishes one bit. Their responses sounded like the opening lines of one of Faulkner's lesser novels. Plus they had a lot of opinions about the way people should stand in line to check out. I have drawn many helpful lessons from their many teaching points.
It is so hot that I just want to lie in my house with the air conditioning cranked up so high I have to snuggle under a blanket. I understand that this makes me symptomatic of everything that's wrong with America today.
