the ocean

And apparently they are on tonight! And, also, there are still movies? Since streaming movies count this year, I'm thinking it could be a big year for Vanessa Hudgens and the "Princess Switch" series. Not nominated, you say? Obama's America, people.

What is nominated? Lots of movies I have not seen. Some of which I have never even heard of. Not that I'm claiming to be some sort of cutting-edge tastemaker; I'm still busy realizing things like "oh hey, I never saw 'There Will Be Blood' back in 2007." I did see Hamilton and Mank and liked them both. So go Hamilton and Mank, I guess? I like the commercials for "Promising Young Woman," is that worth anything?

As far as acting awards, I kind of don't won't Frances McDormand to win, simply because I want her to change her hairstyle, and I fear she won't if we keep encouraging her. I don't want Kate Hudson to win, either, because I really think she needs to keep her focus on Fabletics. If she doesn't help young women feel fashionable while they work out, who will? Also, is Andy Samberg a legitimate actor now? I guess I don't have a problem with that; I'm just trying to keep score.

Oh, and I'm just now seeing the supporting category. Poor Glenn Close. Always and forever, poor Glenn Close. And Sacha Baron Cohen? I guess I didn't really know that was still a thing.

Regardless, it's sure to be an exciting evening! Not because of the Golden Globes; Sundays are the night I do my home facials.

I am going to say something that I never imagined was possible:  I have grown tired of watching television. It's taken three seasons of Treme, four of Friday Night Lights, and more of Below Deck than I ever previously even knew existed to get me to this point, but I'm here. Last night Ian and I could not think of a single thing that we actually felt like watching. Not a Hallmark movie filmed in like 72 hours in Vancouver with the most inoffensively bland actors available for scale. Not an SVU of either the pre- or post-Stabler era. Not even the Youtube clip of the time Katie Holmes was on So You Think You Can Dance. We were just done.

• Assigning far too much emotional importance to our takeout orders.
• Realizing that handmade gifts really are the most terrible.
• Theorizing about Hallmark and the Illuminati.
• Fantasizing about Steve Urkel/Stefan Urquelle.
• Removing novelty underwear with the help of an emergency room physician.
• Trying to remember the percentage of chocolate that is generally thought to contain insect parts.
• Realizing that Love, Actually is really pretty shitty towards women.
• Becoming cool with treason.
• Just like any other day, trying on bedazzled hats.
• Violating restraining orders pertaining to Dame Judi Dench.
• Pretending we want to have a girls night.
• Checking Facebook in hopes our exes are fat.
• Slowly preparing ourselves to die alone, together.