Thursday, May 13, 2004
Hot Fun in the Summertime
Yes, kids, it’s true; May sweeps are here, and soon all of your favorite shows (paging Dr. Becker) will be in reruns (or “classic episodes,” as they’re more properly known). But don’t worry, there’s still all kinds of fun programming for you to watch this summer! Like all of these new shows I just made up:
The Academy. Life’s just one complicated turn after another when you’re a disaffected, disadvantaged teen (Jena Malone) sent to live with the stiffly starched grandmother you never knew you had (Rue McClanahan) at her exclusive East Coast boarding school. Making friends is a bitch, literally, when you run afoul of the school’s reigning social queen and captain of the cheerleading squad (Ashlee Simpson) by beating her in the model UN competition. And it doesn’t help matters to be caught up in a tawdry love triangle with the hunky lacrosse-playing class president (Nick Lachey) and a shy but soulful musician (Bow Wow). Featuring Molly Ringwald as a free spirited art teacher with lupus.
Showgirls, the Animated Series. Nomi Malone (voiced by Tori Spelling) and all her unforgettable friends from the Cheetah Club are back and having magical adventures with the club’s new owner, a sassy talking ape named Sam (Jason Alexander). But they’d better watch out, because an evil wizard (Michael Eisner) is working on a smile-stealing machine that could turn Sin City into Sad City! Can Nomi and Sam travel back to medieval times to avert disaster by winning the royal jousting match and preventing the wizard’s parents from falling in love? Maybe with some help from a few good showgirls...
Untitled M.C. Hammer Sitcom. That’s right, everyone’s favorite pant-related trendsetter is back, and he’s taking his funky hip hop style to – uh oh! – the suburbs! Hilarious culture clashes abound when Hammer moves in next door to retired army colonel George White (Ed Asner) and his brittle, pill-popping wife, Claire (Christine Baranski). Rap music... at the fall cotillion? An Escalade... at the PTA meeting? All we can say is please, Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em!
The Workplace. This new reality series centers on the wacky characters at a Tulsa-based accounting firm as they turn out some crazy tax returns for their major corporate clients. Meet Bob, who is going through his second divorce after being caught making awkward and poorly-received advances towards the family’s teenaged babysitter in the Grand Caravan, and Trudy, who has an interest in model railroads! And get ready for fun when the folks from Ralston-Purina come to town to discuss a few wild deductions they have in mind for fiscal year 2006. Double-entry bookkeeping has never been this sexy!
Yes, kids, it’s true; May sweeps are here, and soon all of your favorite shows (paging Dr. Becker) will be in reruns (or “classic episodes,” as they’re more properly known). But don’t worry, there’s still all kinds of fun programming for you to watch this summer! Like all of these new shows I just made up:
The Academy. Life’s just one complicated turn after another when you’re a disaffected, disadvantaged teen (Jena Malone) sent to live with the stiffly starched grandmother you never knew you had (Rue McClanahan) at her exclusive East Coast boarding school. Making friends is a bitch, literally, when you run afoul of the school’s reigning social queen and captain of the cheerleading squad (Ashlee Simpson) by beating her in the model UN competition. And it doesn’t help matters to be caught up in a tawdry love triangle with the hunky lacrosse-playing class president (Nick Lachey) and a shy but soulful musician (Bow Wow). Featuring Molly Ringwald as a free spirited art teacher with lupus.
Showgirls, the Animated Series. Nomi Malone (voiced by Tori Spelling) and all her unforgettable friends from the Cheetah Club are back and having magical adventures with the club’s new owner, a sassy talking ape named Sam (Jason Alexander). But they’d better watch out, because an evil wizard (Michael Eisner) is working on a smile-stealing machine that could turn Sin City into Sad City! Can Nomi and Sam travel back to medieval times to avert disaster by winning the royal jousting match and preventing the wizard’s parents from falling in love? Maybe with some help from a few good showgirls...
Untitled M.C. Hammer Sitcom. That’s right, everyone’s favorite pant-related trendsetter is back, and he’s taking his funky hip hop style to – uh oh! – the suburbs! Hilarious culture clashes abound when Hammer moves in next door to retired army colonel George White (Ed Asner) and his brittle, pill-popping wife, Claire (Christine Baranski). Rap music... at the fall cotillion? An Escalade... at the PTA meeting? All we can say is please, Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em!
The Workplace. This new reality series centers on the wacky characters at a Tulsa-based accounting firm as they turn out some crazy tax returns for their major corporate clients. Meet Bob, who is going through his second divorce after being caught making awkward and poorly-received advances towards the family’s teenaged babysitter in the Grand Caravan, and Trudy, who has an interest in model railroads! And get ready for fun when the folks from Ralston-Purina come to town to discuss a few wild deductions they have in mind for fiscal year 2006. Double-entry bookkeeping has never been this sexy!
