Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Up, Down, & Around Town
– Family Ties. The other day I actually told my parents that I felt our phone conversation had “jumped the shark.” I don’t care what anyone says; twenty minutes spent talking about my grandmother’s trip to the optometrist is twenty minutes too many.
– Family Ties, Part II. Wasn’t that show awesome? And not just because of Tina Yothers. Also because of its gritty portrayal of the world of public television stations run by former hippies.
– The Catholic Mass. Since when do we hold hands for the Our Father? If I’d wanted to be touched inappropriately, I would have become an altar boy.
– Showbiz Moms & Dads. Because four-year-olds should be subjected to spray-on tans and lectures about “acting their age.” Do you really think Meryl Streep would have gotten where she is today if she hadn’t won all those toddler beauty pageants?
– Tropical Punch Flavored Sugar Free Kool-Aid. Okay, so I’m pretty confident they’ll find out it causes cancer or something twenty years from now, but the taste is amazing. And sugar or no sugar, I feel like busting through a wall myself after a couple of glasses.
– Writing Theory. Yesterday, one of my supervisors told me my memo was boring. Next time I think I’ll slip in a couple of sex scenes and a grisly murder. I’m gonna be the M. Night Shyamalan of legal writing.
– Family Ties. The other day I actually told my parents that I felt our phone conversation had “jumped the shark.” I don’t care what anyone says; twenty minutes spent talking about my grandmother’s trip to the optometrist is twenty minutes too many.
– Family Ties, Part II. Wasn’t that show awesome? And not just because of Tina Yothers. Also because of its gritty portrayal of the world of public television stations run by former hippies.
– The Catholic Mass. Since when do we hold hands for the Our Father? If I’d wanted to be touched inappropriately, I would have become an altar boy.
– Showbiz Moms & Dads. Because four-year-olds should be subjected to spray-on tans and lectures about “acting their age.” Do you really think Meryl Streep would have gotten where she is today if she hadn’t won all those toddler beauty pageants?
– Tropical Punch Flavored Sugar Free Kool-Aid. Okay, so I’m pretty confident they’ll find out it causes cancer or something twenty years from now, but the taste is amazing. And sugar or no sugar, I feel like busting through a wall myself after a couple of glasses.
– Writing Theory. Yesterday, one of my supervisors told me my memo was boring. Next time I think I’ll slip in a couple of sex scenes and a grisly murder. I’m gonna be the M. Night Shyamalan of legal writing.
