Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Facets
– IKEA. Seriously, can’t we think up some reason to bomb Sweden? Those ridiculous instructional drawings with the neuter guy slapping bookshelves with a mallet and calling the help line ought to be enough. I hear ole neuter’s been talking some trash about the Patriot Act, too, if that helps.
– The MTV Movie Awards. You know it’s bad when you find yourself missing the subtle comic touches of Seann William Scott. The introductions sounded like they’d been written by a sugar-withdrawn Bruce Vilanch, translated into Sanskrit by a Commodore 64, and then translated back by Keanu Reeves. Sad.
– Henry James. It turns out he’s kind of fun when it’s not 1:30 the night before your paper is due. Although he still does kind of go on a bit.
– Tom Selleck. There’s a guy at my gym who seriously looks like him, full-bodied ‘stache and all. I think I might have to drop some pro-gun-control propaganda near the stairmaster some time to further investigate this important issue.
– Henry James & Tom Selleck. Can the rumors of a collaboration be true? Imagine, Three Men and a Portrait of a Little Lady coming to a theater near you next summer.
– The Reagan Funeral. Do you feel like it was maybe overkill to have around-the-clock coverage on every network? Because when you start messing with my Oprah, that’s serious business. And I hear FOX News is pitching a Reagan Funeral reality series for fall.
– IKEA. Seriously, can’t we think up some reason to bomb Sweden? Those ridiculous instructional drawings with the neuter guy slapping bookshelves with a mallet and calling the help line ought to be enough. I hear ole neuter’s been talking some trash about the Patriot Act, too, if that helps.
– The MTV Movie Awards. You know it’s bad when you find yourself missing the subtle comic touches of Seann William Scott. The introductions sounded like they’d been written by a sugar-withdrawn Bruce Vilanch, translated into Sanskrit by a Commodore 64, and then translated back by Keanu Reeves. Sad.
– Henry James. It turns out he’s kind of fun when it’s not 1:30 the night before your paper is due. Although he still does kind of go on a bit.
– Tom Selleck. There’s a guy at my gym who seriously looks like him, full-bodied ‘stache and all. I think I might have to drop some pro-gun-control propaganda near the stairmaster some time to further investigate this important issue.
– Henry James & Tom Selleck. Can the rumors of a collaboration be true? Imagine, Three Men and a Portrait of a Little Lady coming to a theater near you next summer.
– The Reagan Funeral. Do you feel like it was maybe overkill to have around-the-clock coverage on every network? Because when you start messing with my Oprah, that’s serious business. And I hear FOX News is pitching a Reagan Funeral reality series for fall.
