Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Milestones
We’re about ten posts away from our hundredth post here at the blog. Given the rather momentous nature of this occasion, I plan to pretty much drive the whole thing into the ground. Here’s what’s in store:
– A dramatic reenactment of my first post, featuring Meredith Baxter-Birney as me and Edward James Olmos as the blog.
– Readers from around the world share their best wishes for my future, in the form of an involuntary committal proceeding.
– The cast of Degrassi Junior High: The Next Generation stops by to present me with a very special restraining order.
– Jello shots.
– Ted Danson reprises his beloved role as the ever-irascible but always-hilarious Becker.
– A video retrospective of my numerous references to J.Lo’s still-more-numerous marriages.
– The blog and I spend a quiet day together at the L.A. Kabbalah Center.
– One hundred tiny magical unicorns dance one hundred merry jigs atop the computer monitors of one hundred lucky readers.
– Dianne Warren pens a new commemorative crap ballad in honor of the blog, entitled “Hope and Love in a New Dream for Tomorrow.”
– The blog announces that we are “taking a hiatus” due to “extreme exhaustion” and to “pursue side projects;” resurfaces as the newest member of Destiny’s Child.
– The City of Chicago issues an official proclamation declaring it “Poorly-Formatted Insane Rambling Day” throughout the land.
– I try out a series of radical new hairstyles; finally settle on “the Rachel.”
– Friends and well-wishers chip in for a cake with a celebrity stripper inside; due to a technical malfunction, Angela Lansbury suffocates.
Stay tuned. It’s sure to be magical!
We’re about ten posts away from our hundredth post here at the blog. Given the rather momentous nature of this occasion, I plan to pretty much drive the whole thing into the ground. Here’s what’s in store:
– A dramatic reenactment of my first post, featuring Meredith Baxter-Birney as me and Edward James Olmos as the blog.
– Readers from around the world share their best wishes for my future, in the form of an involuntary committal proceeding.
– The cast of Degrassi Junior High: The Next Generation stops by to present me with a very special restraining order.
– Jello shots.
– Ted Danson reprises his beloved role as the ever-irascible but always-hilarious Becker.
– A video retrospective of my numerous references to J.Lo’s still-more-numerous marriages.
– The blog and I spend a quiet day together at the L.A. Kabbalah Center.
– One hundred tiny magical unicorns dance one hundred merry jigs atop the computer monitors of one hundred lucky readers.
– Dianne Warren pens a new commemorative crap ballad in honor of the blog, entitled “Hope and Love in a New Dream for Tomorrow.”
– The blog announces that we are “taking a hiatus” due to “extreme exhaustion” and to “pursue side projects;” resurfaces as the newest member of Destiny’s Child.
– The City of Chicago issues an official proclamation declaring it “Poorly-Formatted Insane Rambling Day” throughout the land.
– I try out a series of radical new hairstyles; finally settle on “the Rachel.”
– Friends and well-wishers chip in for a cake with a celebrity stripper inside; due to a technical malfunction, Angela Lansbury suffocates.
Stay tuned. It’s sure to be magical!
