Friday, November 26, 2004
Thankfulpalooza
You've got to love Thanksgiving, right? Actually, I believe a provision of the Patriot Act now literally requires that every American love Thanksgiving or face incarceration in a tiny dark cell where they continually play John Ashcroft's favorite easy listening hits. To avoid that fate, I have compiled the following list of the many things I am thankful for this year:
-- My parents, even if they do end up rambling on about semiotics for upwards of ten minutes nearly every time I call them.
-- My sister, despite the fact that we once had a screaming fight about visiting the Millennium Dome in a hotel room in London.
-- The OC on FOX, without any reservations whatsoever.
-- My 93-year-old grandmother, who is a constant source of humor, anecdotes about restaurants during the 40s, and information about The Young and the Restless.
-- My roommate, whose kindness is matched only by his enthusiasm for porn. We're talking really dirty, hardcore, didn't-even-know-that-was-possible kind of porn.
-- Our dogs, who are probably too dumb to live, but therefore unabashedly affectionate. They've really spoiled me for human relationships.
-- My friends, who put up with even the "humourous" observations on life that are not deemed fit for the website.
-- My job, which is certainly not as glamorous as being America's Next Top Model, but does at the very least provide reliable Internet access and frequent infusions of cash.
-- Paris Hilton, who is the punchline of the year.
-- The blog, which often fills me with hatred and dread, but always gives me the opporunity to punish others with any random idea that pops into my head.
Happy holidays!
You've got to love Thanksgiving, right? Actually, I believe a provision of the Patriot Act now literally requires that every American love Thanksgiving or face incarceration in a tiny dark cell where they continually play John Ashcroft's favorite easy listening hits. To avoid that fate, I have compiled the following list of the many things I am thankful for this year:
-- My parents, even if they do end up rambling on about semiotics for upwards of ten minutes nearly every time I call them.
-- My sister, despite the fact that we once had a screaming fight about visiting the Millennium Dome in a hotel room in London.
-- The OC on FOX, without any reservations whatsoever.
-- My 93-year-old grandmother, who is a constant source of humor, anecdotes about restaurants during the 40s, and information about The Young and the Restless.
-- My roommate, whose kindness is matched only by his enthusiasm for porn. We're talking really dirty, hardcore, didn't-even-know-that-was-possible kind of porn.
-- Our dogs, who are probably too dumb to live, but therefore unabashedly affectionate. They've really spoiled me for human relationships.
-- My friends, who put up with even the "humourous" observations on life that are not deemed fit for the website.
-- My job, which is certainly not as glamorous as being America's Next Top Model, but does at the very least provide reliable Internet access and frequent infusions of cash.
-- Paris Hilton, who is the punchline of the year.
-- The blog, which often fills me with hatred and dread, but always gives me the opporunity to punish others with any random idea that pops into my head.
Happy holidays!
