Friday, February 25, 2005
Short Subjects
– The Academy Awards. At this point, I think Chris Rock pretty much has to say something controversial enough to not only shut down ABC and the entire film industry, but cause the FCC to spontaneously combust. I’m guessing J. Lo’s booty will somehow be involved.
– Paris Hilton’s Sidekick. It’s so unfair! I left my phone in a cab like a year ago and no one reported on that. Of course, I didn’t have footage of Fred Durst’s genitals in there. Now Urkel’s genitals, maybe.
– Jeff Gannon. A gay hooker with a heart of gold makes good in the White House Press Room? They should totally turn this one into a Disney animated feature, with Rob Schneider as the voice of Ari Fleischer.
– Performance Evaluations. My boss told me I’m a "delight" to work with. Maybe she’s referring to the time I hugged her at the office Christmas party? It’s probably not the time she caught me searching for OC spoilers during computer training.
– Civil Disobedience. Does it count as a protest rally if it’s just five guys with posterboard and a megaphone? Because that’s what I had outside my window this week. Maybe they’re just bringing back an amped-up new edition of Win, Lose, or Draw.
– The Academy Awards. At this point, I think Chris Rock pretty much has to say something controversial enough to not only shut down ABC and the entire film industry, but cause the FCC to spontaneously combust. I’m guessing J. Lo’s booty will somehow be involved.
– Paris Hilton’s Sidekick. It’s so unfair! I left my phone in a cab like a year ago and no one reported on that. Of course, I didn’t have footage of Fred Durst’s genitals in there. Now Urkel’s genitals, maybe.
– Jeff Gannon. A gay hooker with a heart of gold makes good in the White House Press Room? They should totally turn this one into a Disney animated feature, with Rob Schneider as the voice of Ari Fleischer.
– Performance Evaluations. My boss told me I’m a "delight" to work with. Maybe she’s referring to the time I hugged her at the office Christmas party? It’s probably not the time she caught me searching for OC spoilers during computer training.
– Civil Disobedience. Does it count as a protest rally if it’s just five guys with posterboard and a megaphone? Because that’s what I had outside my window this week. Maybe they’re just bringing back an amped-up new edition of Win, Lose, or Draw.
