the ocean

Unpopular Valentine's Day Gifts

-- The Collected Love Poems of Sylvia Plath
-- Free sterilization at area former Nazi physician of choice
-- Chocolate-covered puppies
-- Lingerie worn by grandparents on their first Valentine's Day
-- Herpes
-- Girls Gone Wild, The Director's Cut
-- Secondhand champagne
-- Own ear, severed
-- Eat Me Elmo doll
-- Coupon for one free kiss from Courtney Love
-- Romantic getaway weekend in Utah
-- The sweet release of death