Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Civil Disorders
I finally saw Hotel Rwanda last night. I hadn't been to a movie in two months, and I was kind of out of practice -- I didn't have all the movie trivia memorized, I put my feet up on the seat in front of me without the slightest feeling of guilt, and I even allowed my friend to buy a $3.50 soda. But anyway, it was a good movie, although I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who's already on suicide watch. Turns out genocide isn't the laugh a minute you might think it would be. And afterwards I dreamed that one of my friends was fleeing the genocide and people were trying to kill me because of him. Because, yes, Rwanda's national tragedy is all about me.
On another note, I've decided to impose martial law at my office building. This will help me to take care of all the repeat offenders who take the elevator for only one floor or try to explain simple tasks like making copies or sending e-mail. I bet people will think twice about their annoying habits when they know they face potential smacking for them. Feel like chewing ice for hours on end? Thwack. Want to make marathon personal phone calls at top volume from your highly exposed cubicle? Thwack. Think you should pepper every conversation with references to mid-90s Saturday Night Live bits that weren't funny the first time around? Thwack thwack thwack. If we wanted Rob Schneider to work here, we could probably afford to hire him.
I finally saw Hotel Rwanda last night. I hadn't been to a movie in two months, and I was kind of out of practice -- I didn't have all the movie trivia memorized, I put my feet up on the seat in front of me without the slightest feeling of guilt, and I even allowed my friend to buy a $3.50 soda. But anyway, it was a good movie, although I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who's already on suicide watch. Turns out genocide isn't the laugh a minute you might think it would be. And afterwards I dreamed that one of my friends was fleeing the genocide and people were trying to kill me because of him. Because, yes, Rwanda's national tragedy is all about me.
On another note, I've decided to impose martial law at my office building. This will help me to take care of all the repeat offenders who take the elevator for only one floor or try to explain simple tasks like making copies or sending e-mail. I bet people will think twice about their annoying habits when they know they face potential smacking for them. Feel like chewing ice for hours on end? Thwack. Want to make marathon personal phone calls at top volume from your highly exposed cubicle? Thwack. Think you should pepper every conversation with references to mid-90s Saturday Night Live bits that weren't funny the first time around? Thwack thwack thwack. If we wanted Rob Schneider to work here, we could probably afford to hire him.
